Showing posts with label cheerleaders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheerleaders. Show all posts

Friday, November 09, 2007

The NFL in London: A Multimedia Essay

I went to London for the Giants-Dolphins NFL game (You may remember the problems me and my friend had getting tickets). Here's a few impressions of the first NFL regular season game to ever be played overseas...

Giant Jason Taylor

He's Alive!!!
Godzilla? Or Questionable Marketing Strategy?

I know the NFL was trying to hype up the game... but a giant Jason Taylor robot? That's what they came up with?? The NFL's bizarre choice made limited appearances across London, and ended its reign of terror in a cordoned off section of the parking lot reserved for people who paid big money to sit in the rain for a soggy tailgate party. Could the money have been better spent on multiple, simultaneous events around the city, to better capture the attention of the locals? Perhaps a dozen NFL-themed tea parties? I think so.



Wembley Stadium

Wembley
Otherwise Known As The "Mud Bowl"

Wembley is a great stadium. Although it was pouring outside, I was covered by the roof that extends over the seats. Down by the field, the first few rows are exposed, and these emptied quickly when the rain really started dumping down. But the rest of us were nice and dry (except for the Dolphins fan in front of me, whom I accidentally spilled beer on).

Dolphins Fan
He Didn't Even Notice

However, the field isn't covered in Wembley. And that caused problems with the game, which I'll get to in a moment.

I found the concession stands pretty easy to navigate, although some complained about long lines. I guess I was lucky. I got myself some beers and a pot pie (they love pot pies in England).

The Pie And I
Nothing Like A Spot Of Ale And Pie

The Pre-Game Show



Whoa boy. The NFL went all out on this one. Continuing the theme of oversized NFL players, the field was graced by two giant football jerseys, rotating in time with the music, "I Love It When You Call," provided by British pop group The Feeling. The song is actually really catchy, by which I mean it will annoyingly stick in your head until the end of time. You've been warned. Check it out here.

The Cheerleaders

Dolphins Girls
Cheer Girls, I Salute You

These girls were the real stars of the show. If it's anything that brings the NFL back to London again after this slop fest, its the beauty, grace, and very soaked breasts of Miami's 40 or so cheerleaders, who braved the rain jacketless for nearly three quarters, and did it all with a smile on their faces. It's a shame they didn't have much to root for.

Lovely
Smashing.

Halftime Show



Was this a joke? A marching band? A small marching band? Playing Rocky?? The crowd that hadn't headed to the concession stands laughed them off the field.

The Real Halftime Show

Not A Ref
Now That's Halftime Entertainment

Just before the kickoff to start the second half, a referee, heading towards midfield, stripped off his clothes. He wasn't a ref. He was a streaker. He ran to the middle of the field, stark naked, as everyone else watched. First, he did a jig. Then, he began doing push-ups.

Streaker Works Out
Oh, Those Crazy Brits

It took a good minute before security even acknowledged something was happening. Perhaps they realized this was more of a halftime show than the actual halftime show. I heard that on TV, they refused to say what was going on. Well, my friends, it was quite entertaining. Watch the video here... if you want to see what you missed on TV.

The Game

Not Pretty
Drops, Flops and Mud-slops Defined London's First NFL Game

Well. You probably watched it on TV, and saw for yourself. The field was a bloody mess (bloody in the British sense of the word). The passing game never got going for either team, with drops galore.

One odd thing was that the stadium atmosphere was very subdued at points. While the crowd did start "the wave," and chanted "That's Another Dolphins FIRST DOWN" with the announcer, the stadium lacked the sort of "pump up the crowd" devices we're so used to in the states. No Jumbotron prompt for De-Fense!! De-Fence!! No blaring rock anthems during timeouts and instant replay reviews. No "Charge" or things like that. After Dolphins scores, they did play an annoying Dolphins song, but that was about it. Since this was a British crowd not familiar with traditional football cheers, you'd think the NFL would do more to get them involved.

The most exciting plays were Eli Manning's touchdown run, and Cleo Lemon's touchdown pass to Ted Ginn Jr. The crowd actually got back into the game after that touchdown pass... but booed lustily when the Giants ran out the clock to end the game.

Eli's TD Run, As Captured By My Cell Phone Camera:



High quality, I know. The running white smudge is Eli.

Eli
He Looks Better In This Reuters Photo

Leaving Wembley

Wembley All Lit Up
Wembley At Night

The crowd was huge, but moved along quickly. We were back to the hostel in a little more than half an hour. Better than Giants Stadium transportation, that's for sure.

Crowding Into The Tube
Tube 'n It Up

All in all, an unforgettable experience. I'm glad I got to go. We met a lot of die hard football fans from across the pond... people who had loved the Giants and Dolphins for years but never seen them in person. For them, this game was evidence that the NFL cares about their dedication. Despite a few missteps, I think the NFL showed it has potential to expand beyond American borders.

I had a great time. And I miss the tea and crumpets already.

High Tea
Goodbye To London, For Now

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

What's the Media's Obsession With Lesbian Cheerleader Sex Scandals?

Every Man's Fantasy

If anyone thought the media was run by liberals, they're wrong. It's run by men. Who else would make sucha big deal about two cheerleaders, having wild passionate sex in a bathroom stall?

I mean, it's not really news. This stuff has happened for years. Hasn't anybody ever watched "Naked Cheerleaders Volume One?" You'll never look at a cartwheel the same way again, trust me.

This may be news now, but in a month, it'll be a Playboy spread.

They just got out on bail. Their fellow cheerleaders posted bond. Now that's team spirit!

Unfortunately, their intimate moment has caused the two to be kicked off the cheerleading squad. The Panthers Cheerleaders have always had a strict rule: No sex with the players. They've now amended that rule. No sex with each other either.

Why they gotta hate?

I betcha disgruntled and suspended wide receiver Terrell Owens wishes he was a Carolina Panther and not an Philadelphia Eagle. In fact, word is, he's been practicing for a spot on the cheerleading squad:

T.O. Likes Pom Poms

So has former Presidential candidate John Kerry:

Where Was That Energy During The Campaign?

And we all know Bushie can relate to the hectic life of a cheer queer:

Give me an W! Give me a M! Give me a D!

Anyways, if it's anything this whole sordid business has taught us, it's that every so often, God throws the horny sportswriters a bone. How else do you explain how Anna Kournikova got into tennis?

Girls, I sympathize with you. All this attention must be humiliating. You deserve some privacy.

You're welcome to stay at my place.


======
Update: Fugitive Cheerleader! And Footage Of The Woman She Beat!
======

Visitor Map: