Someone Is Holding Time Warner Cable Hostage For Free Cable

UPDATE (10:03 AM 10/6): And I'm in the Village Voice! Also, cable went out again last night. Is the super up to more shenanigans?

UPDATE (3:10 PM): The Cable and Internet are back! Either Time Warner broke into the building or caved and gave the super what he wanted. Now I can go back to griping about a faceless cable company instead of griping about some random guy.

I live in the East Village. My Internet and Cable have been out since yesterday. I missed last night's Yankees game. I couldn't watch Monday Night Football. My friend in London who is using a Slingbox connected to my TV to watch American television is stuck watching episodes of bizarre British game shows.

I called Time Warner Cable. I was instantly hit with a recorded message that there's a service outage in my area affecting internet, cable, phone, you name it. The message said the service reps have no additional information. I waited on hold to speak with one anyway. I wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Finally, I connected with a service rep. He sounded young. Stumbled a little bit over the script he was reading. I assume he's new. This will be important in a moment. I asked him what the heck was happening. And he told me this:

The box that controls the cable, internet, pretty much everything else for Time Warner Cable in my area of the East Village is located in the basement of a building. In order to service this box, Time Warner Cable needs to contact the super of the building and be let in.

The super of the building, according to the service rep, REFUSES TO LET TIME WARNER INSIDE.

"Why is he refusing?" I asked.

"He wants free cable," the rep responded.

Apparently, Time Warner has tried to reason with the man, but he refuses to budge. Today, he's refused to answer the door or his phone. He's cut off all communication.

"It's a very unusual situation," the rep said.

This pisses me off to no end. So some super on a power trip is the reason that myself and who knows how many others can't watch TV or go online. We all have to pay, and this super asshole thinks he's entitled to free internet because Time Warner has a box in his building. The super doesn't give a damn that he's screwing all the rest of us.

"Where's the building?" I asked.

Now, an experienced rep, I would imagine, would never tell this information. But I'm guessing the friendly script laid out in front of the reps doesn't cover a scenario where a rogue super holds his community's cable service hostage.

"It's on 2nd Ave. I'm not sure I should tell you the exact address," the rep said.

"I understand," I said. "It's just that its ridiculous that one man should stop everybody else from getting cable."

"Yes sir," the rep agreed. "How close are you to 2nd Ave.?"

"I live between 1st and 2nd, closer to 2nd. I'd love to go over there and try to speak with the super to help resolve this."

"Well," the rep said, "I can't see any reason I can't give you the address."

I can see a few reasons. And for those reasons, I won't post the address here. Yet.

Should I call the guy and try to end this standoff? Visit the address and knock on the door? Release the address? Or just the Super's name, so I can publicly shame the guy?

Or should I do nothing, hope Time Warner Cable gives the guy free cable before I get home from work?

Help me decide, America.

Goodbye Stuyvesant Deli, Goodbye Stuyvesant Town



In New York City, every resident has their own favorite neighborhood bodega, a small grocery store where vital supplies (beer, lottery tickets, candy and the occasional sandwich) can be purchased 24 hours a day. Mine was the Stuyvesant Grocery Deli. That's it in the picture above, at shortly after 11 AM this morning.

Blogger EV Grieve has more on the devastating scene. I won't get there until after work today.

My heart goes out to the guys that run the place. They always asked me how my day was, or where I'd been if I hadn't stopped by in a while. If I find out any way to help them, I'll post it on this blog.

In a way, it's fitting that a place that helped sustain me for the past 6 years just now went up in flames. In a few weeks, I'll be leaving Stuyvesant Town and the East Village behind, moving to a place on 32nd and 2nd, in Kips Bay.

Yeah yeah. I know. Murray Hill. Does that mean I'll suddenly become a douchebag?

Maybe that's unfair to Murray Hill. Not everyone there is a douchebag. But if you're a New Yorker, you know the reputation. I'm leaving a place known for beatniks, punk rock and its rough and tumble character, for a place known for... well, the hair-gelled fist-pumping crowd at Joshua Tree and Brother Jimmy's. My New Haircut wasn't a joke in Murray Hill. It was a docudrama.

But maybe it's time to move on up. My favorite East Village bar, Musical Box, just closed a few weeks ago. Before that, my favorite hidden tiki bar, Waikiki Wally's closed. Before that, my favorite dancing and drinking place, Uncle Ming's closed. When your three favorite neighborhood bars shut down, maybe your neighborhood's trying to tell you something.

And now Stuyvesant Grocery Deli. I better move out soon, before the whole neighborhood closes down and goes up in flames.

F#ck Snow Plows

"Emergency snow removal"

That's what the security guy at Stuyvesant Town called it at 4:20 am when I called to complain about the freaking snow plows blasting warning beeps every two seconds. It's fing ridiculous. No one is walking around in a snowstorm at 4am-- warning beeps are completely unnecessary. Of course, the noise can not be shut off. But it's louder than my damn alarm is that wakes me in the morning. It's right outside my fing window. I've never wanted to strangle a snowplow driver more. Or at least the fing guy who invented the backup warning beep. I'm thinking anyone who doesn't see a HUGE ASS SNOWPLOW backing up deserves to die. Survival of the fittest and such.

Or here's a freaking novel idea: just let the damn snow pile up. Let us have a damn snow day. Half the city is shut down anyway tomorrow. What ever happened to good old fashioned, "Oh my! We're snowed in!"

Seriously. Suck one snowplows.

[UPDATE: 311 noise complaint filed. Apparently, according to the woman I spoke to, they've been getting calls about this all night. "It makes the time pass," the woman said. At least someone's getting something out of this.]

One Man's Stuyvesant Town Dream Comes To An End



In honor of Stuyvesant Town's transfer of ownership to creditors, check out this video of the birth of Stuyvesant Town, complete with wrecking balls!

Poor Rob Speyer. He probably wishes Stuyvesant Town still was a dilapidated slum with no windows in the bedrooms. It would have cost him a lot less that the $5.4 billion he spent. The property's valued at less than 2 billion now.

Where did Rob go wrong? Well, for one, he bought at the top of the real estate market, right before lines on line graphs everywhere suddenly committed suicide. But Tishman Speyer hasn't helped their cause at all with some terrible, terrible decisions. I've lived in Stuyvesant Town for the past 6 years, and I've witnessed them all.

1) Threatening Old People

Rob Speyer had a great idea. Why rent apartments in Stuyvesant Town's great location at below-market rates, when you could refurbish the rooms and resell them as luxury living? The gains in rent collected would be astronomical. Can't lose!

Except, er. Well, to refurbish those apartments and resell them, you need to kick the current occupants out. And many of those occupants are old people. Old people will not move without a fight. If you've ever seen an old person walk down the street, you know that even getting themselves to move is a complex negotiation that doesn't exactly progress speedily. And tenant laws in New York make it very hard to clear out longtime residents.

What's worse, Stuyvesant Town was created originally for soldiers returning home from World War II. Which means not only are these old people cranky and beloved, many of them are war heroes or family of war heroes. Good luck getting any politically savvy judge to kick them out.

As a resident, I've noted how highly respected the old people of Stuyvesant Town are. These aren't helpless, neglected grannys that can just be forcibly sent to an old age home. The old people living here are the bedrock of New York. You need dynamite, or death to get them out. And unfortunately for Rob, modern medicine is keeping these guys running longer and longer.

2) Ecological Disaster

Shortly after Tishman bought the property, they embarked on an ambitious landscaping project. The project would put in 200,000 plants — including 10,000 trees, 3,123 shrubs and 120,906 perennials. My roommate and I were woken every morning at 7:53 AM by the landscaping crew, which seemed to end their very noisy work around 8:02.

This was Stuyvesant Town when we moved in 6 years ago, before the landscaping project:



Here it is now:


It's actually worse than this... this was taken last April.

I haven't been able to find figures on how much Speyer spent for this travesty, but it's certainly in the millions. The "improvements" have absolutely devastated the property, and there's no end in sight. Every so often, a thatch of new trees or flowers is planted, presumably so they can take some updated exterior shots. Then, within weeks, the dead flowers (or still alive, doesn't really matter) are removed, leaving bare muddy ground. The trees sink into the ground around them, forming puddles that serve as perfect breeding grounds for mosquitoes. The failure is mockable.

Where did Tishman find this landscaping firm? Hades?

3) Wasted Space

Tishman spent millions building five luxury perks to the property: Oval Fitness, Oval Kids, Oval Lounge, Oval Study, and Oval... um, well, its not really important.

The enormous extra fees to access these new amenities deterred most residents from using them (perhaps Tishman was anticipating its new "luxury" residents. But even those who were interested in joining were put off by outrageous restrictions: for instance, the Oval Study, presumably designed for hard workers and students to, you know, study in, originally closed at 6 PM, way too early for any working person or student to use. By the time the hours were lengthened, people had already lost interest. And then there's the discomfort of the tiny spaces being presided over by bored staffers, who seem to be watching your every move.

But the biggest waste of space may be the roofs of the Stuyvesant Town buildings. Once a place where residents could sneak up to watch the fireworks or catch an amazing nighttime view, they've been outlawed and monitored aggressively by security. The roofs of these buildings are huge. Certainly large enough for solar panels, or rooftop gardens, or some sort of rainwater collection facility. Instead, they're completely empty. Missing this potential is a huge oversight for Tishman.

Finally...

There are some things Tishman did right. Concerts and movies in the oval provided great entertainment and an opportunity for the community to come together (even if Kaki King's profanity-laced set wasn't exactly family friendly). And they kept the fountain pumping and looking great. And while I've never used it, the weird putting green in the oval was a nice touch. But you don't improve the value of a property by harassing its residents, wiping out plant life, and providing amenities no one wants while taking away the ones they do.

Tishman Speyer had poor timing, true, but its poor management would have chipped away at the property's value even if the market hadn't collapsed.

Halloween Hot Dogs

As seen in Tompkins Square Park yesterday...


"It's Elemetary, Dear Watson..."


"Cotton candy, sweet and low, let me see that tootsie roll..."


Some Owners Were Scarier Than Their Dogs...


Uh Oh, Looks Like Someone's A Lobster Dinner Tonight


Michael Phelps-dog, World Record Holder In The Doggie-Paddle


"Here Comes Santa-paws, Here Comes Santa-Paws..."


...and his reindogs


"Tell Me More, Tell Me More, Did He Bark All Night..."


Nacho Libre-dog

And my personal favorite (in cuteness):


He Doesn't Lay Eggs, Just Poops

The winner of the canine costume contest?


Sadly, Rapunzel Was Not Rescued Because The Prince Had To Chase A Squirrel