A Radical Idea... Blow Up The NFL

 

They may still call baseball "America's Pastime," but the truth is, football is king in this country. The NFL has been wildly successful in fielding the sport and making it a year-round obsession for fans. From the draft in April to the Superbowl in February, it's football that produces the biggest parties, tailgates, and crowds.

But if the NFL and the NFL Players Association don't agree to extend the collective bargaining agreement deadline by midnight tonight, it may be time to consider a radical option.

End the NFL.

I'm not talking about the end of professional football. What I'm talking about is a passing of the torch-- from 32 owners who don't give a damn about fans or players, to 32 new owners who would respect the fans and instantly agree to adopt the previous collective bargaining agreement that has made football the most successful and financially sound league of all American sports.

A de-certification of the players union and a lengthy lockout from the NFL owners would effectively put the NFL "out of business," transforming every NFL player into a free agent, at liberty to bring their talents anywhere. The UFL and CFL have struggled to grab a foothold in the American football market for quite some time now... could they take advantage and create a new American football league?

Already, posters on UFL message boards are drooling at the prospect.

At issue is this: do you believe it's the NFL executives and owners that make the NFL so great, or the players?

Certainly, a new league or expanded UFL/CFL would undergo growing pains. You don't go from a second-class outfit to "the big leagues" overnight. But NFL-caliber talent attracts NFL-caliber dollars. What would happen if Coach Bill, Tom Brady and the rest of his New England Patriots teammates decided to all join the Hartford Colonials? Would all those Patriots fans stick with Bob Kraft? Or would they throw on "New England Colonials" jerseys? I'd say the latter. Other teams can follow suit, joining existing UFL/CFL teams or new expansion teams, headed by investors who have been itching for a piece of the NFL pie for years. There's plenty of places to play football other than NFL-owned stadiums. How about the Lions playing in Michigan Stadium? They'd probably have MORE fans fill the seats there than currently do at Pontiac.

Of course, players wouldn't be bound to stay with their previous squads. What if a group of Pro Bowlers decided they wanted to start a team in South Beach, ala LeBron and company? Forget about the sad sack Miami Dolphins, welcome to the juggernaut Miami Sharks.

Coach Pacino

Certainly, ticket sales, a tv deal,and a wave of new merchandise would all raise money for the fledgling league and help pay salaries. The UFL today pays their players a pittance... but only because the league earns a pittance. With legions of football fans having nowhere else to turn, a new league would have a market of hungry fans willing to spend the money they once spent on the NFL.

No, it's not likely. But why are we trusting 32 people with a sport we love? Especially when they've shown they value money over the sport itself?

Did The Steelers Cheat?

The Jets should have beat the Steelers yesterday. Even despite that terrible first half. If they hadn't of absolutely called the worst possible plays when inside the Steelers 5-yard line, we might be talking about a Jets Superbowl right now.

But the play calling wasn't the only issue on the pivotal drive that ended in no points instead of a TD for the Jets (one play later, they added a safety, but it was too little, too late).

According to the Daily News:

"As Sanchez was waiting for the call from Schottenheimer on second down, he said the radio in his helmet had gone haywire, something the QB said he had to deal with all night. Why wasn't it fixed? It's happened in other games, Sanchez said, but never for that long. He kept pointing to his helmet as the 40-second play clock was working its way down.

"The problem was the headset kept going out multiple times during the game," Sanchez said. "I had to run over and get a couple of calls, piece together some calls in the headset that came in broken up. It's just one of those things that we were fighting through and I was proud of our guys for trying to piece it together."

At one point during the game, the Jets had to use a walkie-talkie. This time, at this crucial moment, Sanchez ran over toward the sidelines. Schottenheimer met him halfway on the field and gave him the call with about 18 seconds on the play clock. Sanchez hustled to the huddle and quickly called the play, the 40-second clock winding down toward zero. The Jets, in what would be their most important series of the year, rushed to the line. Sanchez didn't want to use the Jets' first timeout of the second half, knowing it would be valuable later on. Nick Mangold snapped the ball just before the play clock expired."

According to ESPN:

"The primary headset used to communicate with the quarterback went out after the first possession, and the backup unit stopped functioning in the fourth quarter as the Jets were attempting to convert on a first-and-goal from the Steelers' 2 with roughly eight minutes left in the game and down 24-10."

The result from all these headset issues? 4 and out, many, many precious seconds ticked off from the clock.

Maybe that's why Jets coach Rex Ryan took out his rage on his headset:



However, more than one Jets fan has speculated that the headset issues may not have been an innocent quirk of technology:

I investigated to see whether this thing has ever helped the Steelers win a game before...

It hasn't.

Sorry Jets fans. Unless a Steelers' employee slips up and admits subterfuge, we're all gonna have to blame this on Schottenheimer and some faulty headsets.

And, as my high school friend Jin points out, a Jets-Steelers trade that up until the final seconds, seemed to be in the Jets favor:

"Santonio holmes was traded to jets for 5th round pick, that 5th round pick was then traded to cardinals for mcfadden pluz a 6th round pick..... guess who that 6th round pick was.... antonio brown, the guy caught the last pass on 3rd and 6 to beat who? the jets! funny how things works out, not such a bad trade after all."

The 5 Worst Football Games Ever Played By The New York Giants

What happened yesterday? Anything interesting? I can't recall. Doesn't seem like yesterday ever happened.

Oh, who am I kidding. I can't forget. The New York Giants were up 31-10 with 8 minutes left in the fourth quarter, at home, against their hated rivals, the Philadelphia Eagles, in a battle for division supremacy, a first round bye and home field playoff advantage... and they collapsed like the roof of the Minnesota Vikings' Metrodome.

I was at the game. You always want to be a part of history when you go a game at the stadium, so you can tell your friends you saw Osi Umenyora sack McNabb 6 times, or saw Tiki Barber ring up 276 yards from scrimmage in a close Giants win. You just don't want to witness the other team make history, like the Eagles scoring the most points in the fourth quarter that they ever have, ever.

To me, it was the worst Giants loss in franchise history. No, it wasn't a playoff game, but it made Philadelphia fans happy and rewarded a dog-murderer, at the expense of a possible first round bye and home field advantage. It got me to thinking about other terrible Giants' losses over the years...

5. The "Miracle" At The Meadowlands: This one was before my time, but every Giants fan knows about it. In 1978, the Giants were about to upset the Eagles 17-12, potentially knocking Philadelphia out of the playoffs. All the Giants had to do to win was run out the clock. As in, hike the ball, kneel down. The Eagles had no timeouts, the Giants were leading, and there were 31 seconds left. Kneel the ball, it's over. Instead, the Giants ran the ball. Or tried to. The handoff was botched, Herm Edwards (future Jets coach) picked the ball up and scooted to the game-winning touchdown. A heartbreaking loss, but only #5 on our list because the Giants back then were going nowhere.

4. The 1997 NFC Wild Card Game. In 1997, the Giants had the #1 defense and was riding a hot streak into the playoffs, not bad for a team that had gone 6-10 the previous season. Then they faced Minnesota in the first round.

The Giants took a 19-3 lead into the half. By 7:42 left, they were up 22-13, still a two-score game. With a minute and a half to go, Randall Cunningham, who had been unemployed earlier that season, completed a touchdown to bring the Vikings within 2. The Vikings kicked an onside kick... and recovered. Cunningham led the Vikings into field goal range and the winner sailed through the uprights with 10 seconds left.

3. The Trey Junkin Game: The Giants were up 38-14 with 18 minutes left in the NFC Wild Card game against the San Francisco 49ers. Then they forgot how to play football. They started fighting. They drew stupid penalty after stupid penalty. The Giants' long-snapper was injured, so they had recently signed 19-year veteran Trey Junkin for field goals and punts. On a 42-yard field goal that would have iced the game, he made a terrible snap, and Matt Bryant hooked it.

With 1:00 left, San Francisco quarterback Jeff Garcia gave the 49ers the lead on a 13-yard TD pass to Tai Streets. Even so, a personal foul penalty against the 49ers would have given the Giants excellent field position for the winning field goal. Instead, Shaun Williams decided to slug the guy back, and the penalties were offsetting.

Unfathomably, the Giants got into field goal range anyway. Bryant lined up for the kick. He never got the chance. The snap was laughably bad, and Giants' punter Matt Allen heaved a desperate pass into the end zone. The pass was incomplete, but a flag was down. Pass interference, on the 49ers. Giants ball at the 1 with no time. Except a Giants' lineman was illegally downfield. The refs said that penalty negated the pass interference, and the game was over.

2. Superbowl XXXV: The Giants were coming into Superbowl XXXV off a dominant performance (41-0) in the NFC Championship game against the Minnesota Vikings. Baltimore had Trent Dilfer as their QB, and their best defensive played had just been investigated for his role in a fatal shooting.

The Giants fell behind early, due to their quarterback, Kerry Collins, throwing interception after interception. But then the Giants' Ron Dixon returned a kickoff 97 yards, cutting the Ravens lead to 17-7.

Immediately afterward, the Ravens' Jermaine Lewis returned the ensuing kickoff 84 yards for a TD.

The rout was on. Kerry Collins threw 4 interceptions total. All 16 times the Giants had the ball, they either punted or turned it over. Final score, 34-7.

1. Eight Minutes Of Hell: That's what I'm dubbing this game. And it is the worst the Giants have ever played. No, this wasn't a playoff game, no this wasn't the Superbowl, but in only this loss did the entire Giants team screw up in ways big and small to throw away an important game. People can try to make punter Matt Dodge the scapegoat, but really, no one is blameless. I was there, and it truly was 8 minutes of hell.

Part of me must have known what the Giants were in for. I took this photo at the point in the game when I thought the Giants had put the nail in the coffin:



It didn't take long for everything to go wrong.

Michael Vick, Eagles QB and former Bad Newz Kennels CEO, ran away from pressure for a monster gain. Then he connected on a 65-yard TD to TE Brent Celek. Then everyone in the stadium expected the Eagles to onside kick the ball.

Except for the Giants, who expected the Eagles to replace their starters and call it quits.

The Giants made no attempt to field the onside kick, and a few plays later, Vick ran it into the end zone to pull the Eagles within a TD.

Eli Manning and Co. couldn't do anything to run down the clock or put more points on the board. Their drive stalled with a horrific false-start penalty.

With 1:16, Vick hit Jeremey Maclin on a TD pass to cap one of the easiest drives the Eagles have ever had.

Game tied, Giants got the ball back with just over a minute. The Giants came out throwing. Manning threw his first pass about a mile from the closest Giant. His second pass was nearly intercepted. The Giants went 3 and out. Giants punter Matt Dodge headed onto the field.

At this point, I told my Dad, "Let's go."

"But Adam, the score's tied, don't you want to see overtime?"

"It's not going to overtime, Dad."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's go beat the crowd to the train."

"There's only 17 seconds left..."

"Dodge is going to shank the punt, it's going to take the Eagles one play to get into field goal range, and Akers will put it away. Let's go."

My Dad and I started shuffling down the aisle. We were almost out of our row when the snap almost went over Dodge's head. We were out of our row, onto the stairs as the punt hit Dodge's foot and made a beeline for DeShawn Jackson, the Eagles star punt returner. Jackson had crossed the 30 by the time we were two steps up the stairs to the exit. The last thing I saw, as we headed out of the stands and into the concourse, was DeShawn Jackson holding out the ball as he danced along the goal line, a few Giants halfheartedly chasing him. We missed the part where Jackson fired the ball into the stands and Giants Coach Tom Coughlin threw down his clipboard.

It was the worst loss in what is quickly becoming a frustrating season for the Giants. At one point, pundits said they were the best team in the NFL and a bonifide challenger for the Super Bowl. Now they look like they're lucky to still have a shot at the playoffs.

Matt Dodge should be let go. He's cost the Giants too much this year. But this game wasn't all his fault. How do you not prepare for an onside kick? How do you get a false start penalty with a chance to run out the game? How do you miss open receivers by so much on a pivotal drive?

I saw history. Maybe the moment when Tom Coughlin became history too.

Yeah! I'm On Deadspin!

Didn't even realize it, but Deadspin published the stories I sent them about two of my crazy coaches two weeks ago. Check it out.

Malcolm Gladwell Won't Shut Up About The Full-Court Press

And to my mind, he shouldn't. He's right.

Gladwell's part of a discussion on ESPN.com today in which he expounds more about the inflexibility of pro teams to adopt unorthodox strategies to win.

It's not just basketball. Last football season, sports commentators went crazy when the Miami Dolphins started using a "Wildcat" offense-- using the quarterback position as more than just a passer or a guy that hands the ball off. The Dolphins strategy paid off-- a team that finished last in the AFC East the previous year suddenly won the division... despite fielding a quarterback that was outright dropped by his former team.

It was impressive enough a display that EA Sports is even including a "Wildcat" playbook in its Madden X game coming out this year.

Of course, while some NFL teams began instituting their own "Wildcat"-style plays (if only as "trick" change-of-pace plays), there was still evidence that the powers that be are reluctant to celebrate innovation: the two-quarterback, 11-receiver A-11 offense was banned by the National Federation of State High School Associations.



I asked blog readers to chime in on their winning sports strategies that are puzzlingly not-used by the pros. No one really offered any. So here's mine:

Golf: Happy Gilmore Tee-offs

There's nothing in golf's rules that say you can't tee off like this:



But, as the New York Times reported yesterday, driving like that can actually increase a drive's distance by quite a lot.

It turned out that Harrington generated about 7 miles per hour more club head speed with his driver doing it Happy’s way, and he increased his usual drive of 296 yards by about 30 yards.

A long video of how it works, here.

Sure, messing up would earn a lot of laughs. But with enough practice, you're telling me that a skilled golfer can't pull this off? If it means turning a Par 4 into a Par 3, then why wouldn't you at least try??

Football: The No-Huddle



The Colts do it. The Patriots do it. They don't huddle before the play, they just launch into the next one. The result? The opposing defense can't get the right personnel in. They get tired. They get confused.

Now, there are times you want to control the clock. Keep your defense off the field for some rest. But why not use the no-huddle more as a surprise? First down, you use a huddle. Second down, you huddle. But then on third and short, you fake walking back to the huddle, but quickly turn around and hike the ball. Chances are, you'll catch the defense sleeping.

Why don't teams do this all the time???

Ice Hockey: Stop Fighting



I never played ice hockey. But I do watch it. And one thing that consistently baffles me is fighting. Don't get me wrong: I love it. Goalie fights especially. But it seems like fighting is a losing strategy.

In today's NHL, starting a fight carries a 2:00 penalty on top of a 5:00 penalty for fighting. That means, at the very least, the team that starts the fight will be a man down for two minutes.

Yet, teams stockpile "enforcers," guys who do little more than skate and punch. They claim its to defend their stars from dirty play. But isn't that what the refs are for? And in what backwards bizarro world does purposely putting your team at the wrong end of a power play get revenge for a cheap shot on your star player?

Most sports tell players to avoid penalties. Hockey is the one sport that signs players who intentionally cause them.

Baseball: Using Your "Closer" Whenever



Mariano Rivera is the greatest closer of the last decade. His career ERA is 2.30. He's compiled 488 saves. When he's on the mound, hitters rarely do damage. Yet, the most innings he's ever pitched in one season was 107.2, back in 1996. His ERA that year? 2.09. Oh, and by the way, the Yankees won the World Series that year.

My point? If Mariano is so good, why not put him in when the game is on the line... which isn't always the ninth inning.

On May 6th, Mariano did pitch the ninth... in a tie game against the Tampa Bay Rays. But then the Yankees manager, Joe Girardi, took Mo out in the tenth. Phil Coke promptly let up the game-deciding home run. Why couldn't Mo pitch two innings? Shouldn't a major league reliever be able to pitch more than one inning?

The day before, May 5th, Mariano didn't even get in the game. Although maybe he should have. Against the Red Sox, down 4-3 in the top of the eighth inning, the Yankees still had the game within reach. Then the Red Sox got Jason Bay on base due to an error. Bay stole second. He moved to third on a ground out. To score a run, all the Sox had to do was hit one marginally deep to the outfield. The Yankees walked J.D. Drew to set up a possible double play.

But they stayed with reliever Albaladejo. They didn't go to Rivera, their best pitcher, even though he would only have to get two more outs than he usually would.

Albaladejo gave up the sacrifice fly. And then a single. 6-3 Boston.

Why not put your best reliever in when you need him? Especially in the eigth, when he'd only be pitching 2 more outs than normal. Is that 2/3 of an inning really going to destroy Mariano's arm?

No. Closers should get a new name. I like Stoppers. They stop the bleeding.

Any other winning sports strategies that teams don't use? Drop me a comment.

Welcome, Giants Fans, To Nazi Stadium

Oy vey...

Nazi Insurance Company Bids To Name New Meadowlands Football Stadium

It should be said that, apparently, Allianz has apologized for their Nazi past and worked together with Jewish organizations to make amends.

Of course, according to their own website, it wasn't until 1997 that Allianz began addressing its past as a Nazi-supporting company. Coincidentally, that was the same year Allianz was sued for not paying the life insurance policies of Holocaust victims:

"After a lawsuit was filed in 1997, Allianz immediately responded by establishing a 24-hour, multilingual telephone helpline in the United States, Europe and Israel to enable potential claimants with life insurance policies, from the Holocaust-era, to have their inquiries answered. We have offered immediate payment for each legitimate claim of Holocaust victims or their heirs that was found to have been unsettled after the end of the war."

"Since 1997 Allianz has been intensively engaged in addressing its past between 1933 and 1945."

Interesting... you mean they didn't begin apologizing for their Nazi past until they were sued more than 50 years later?

Heil Giants!!!


[Update: Thanks entirely to my blog post, the Jets and Giants have canceled talks with Allianz.

Brett Was Great In There's Something About Mary

BRETT SET ON JETS


J-E-T-S Jets, Brett, Jets!!!

[bad news for chad pennington]

[good news for l. coles]

We Interrupt Israel Stories With Yet Another NFL Announcement

I just could not ignore this...



New York Jets Receive Permission To Talk To Packers About Brett Favre

This could be the biggest superstar to come to a New York sports team since Reggie Jackson. Or, more recently, A-Rod. And Brett would have an even bigger impact on his team than either of them.

No offense to current Jets quarterback hopefuls Chad Pennington and Kellen Clemens, but... Brett Favre is better than both of you. Much better.



Last time Chad Pennington did something like that, the pass was an interception and he was out for the rest of the season with various injuries.

And Kellen Clemens? Well, best I can say about him is his baby was blessed by the Pope.

Favre would have excellent receivers in Jerricho Cotchery and Laveranues Coles, plus he'd be reunited with tight end Bubba Franks, his former teammate with Green Bay.

Plus, Brett rhymes with Jet... which makes for the obvious NYPost headline:

Brett A Jet!!

or

Jet Set Brett

or

Jets Net Brett

or

Brett Set On Jets

or

Brett Was Great In There's Something About Mary

Whatever the headlines say, Brett is welcome in the Meadowlands anytime. He can even crash on my couch till he finds a place. Provided he signs ample amounts of memorabilia.

Giant Ripoff


Giants' Ownership Has Some Explainin' To Do

By Guest Blogger Barry Klein

[The NYGiants announced that their new stadium will be partially funded by selling "Personal Seat Licenses"-- which can cost fans up to $20,000 to merely guarentee they'll have the chance to buy tickets to see the games, which would cost additional sums of money. Longtime Giants season ticket holder, and blog reader, Barry Klein shares his thoughts...]

Wow!!! The new Giants/Jets stadium sounds like it will be awesome. According to the owners there will be modern food service, restaurants, tailgate zones and (hold your hats) cutting edge scoreboards. Apparently, all this is being done to give the fans the “amenities they deserve.” Thanks a lot Mara and Tisch families, but if you didn’t have the money to pay for the stadium, you shouldn’t force the Giants fans to do it without consulting them beforehand.

The truth of the matter is that the old Giants stadium was fine. Not many fans had any complaints about the stadium. Traffic and parking could have been eased by adding a train, but not much to complain about inside the stadium. Because of the owners’ greed, fans now have to pay for the opportunity to keep seats they already have on top of the thousands a year they have to pay to actually attend the games. What a scam!

You hear owners around the NFL complaining about not being able to make money because of high player salaries…blah, blah, blah. Cry me a river. The owners bought the teams initially because they had more money than they knew what to do with and they wanted to have fun by actually owning and directing a franchise.

Bob Tisch paid $75 million for a 50% share in the Giants. According to a 2005 Forbes article, the franchise is now worth $800 million. If you are now worried about your investment, sell the team. Just please stop talking to the fans like we are idiots. We know this new stadium is not for us. It’s to pad your already enormous bank accounts (or if not your bank accounts, just your egos).

Are you serious? You are giving us the option to finance the seat licenses over time. Great idea!!! In such a great economic time when likely most of your fan base is having trouble paying off debts (mortgages, credit card bills, student loans, etc.), thanks for giving us the opportunity to take on more debt.

Don’t act of though you feel bad. If you truly felt bad, we’d either be keeping the old stadium or you’d be paying for this new stadium without your old, trusty ATMs…I mean the NY Giants and Jets fans. We can’t even boycott or we won’t get tickets to the team we love.

In closing, I’d like to thank the owners of the Giants for showing us the real Mara and Tisch families. We had thought the Maras, a family that has owned the team since its inception, cared about the people who helped make the team and the sport popular…the average middle-class fan. As for the Tisches, we see the charity you provide to the less affluent in the city of NY and elsewhere. However, with regard to how you treat the fans in New York, you disappoint us all.

Better Than Perfect



"They were feeling good. But we didn't treat them like an undefeated team. We didn't treat them like some Greek myth. There was no Godzilla out there.'' - New York Football Giants Wide Receiver David Tyree

Pandemonium in the streets. Chants of 18 and 1!! echoing from bars. New York City was celebrating last night, and it will be celebrating all month, if not all year, after watching the greatest upset in the history of professional football.

New York hasn't had much to celebrate recently. Since 2001, when the terrorists attacked the World Trade Center, New York sports hadn't had a good time of it. The Yankees lost to the Diamondbacks that year. Then the Marlins beat the Yanks (two recent expansion clubs! over the venerable Yankees!). Then came the infamous Red Sox disaster, when the Yankees held a 3-0 lead in the series and blew it, allowing Boston to win its first World Series since before electricity. Then came the bug game in Cleveland. Even the Mets decided to destroy the hearts of New Yorkers by seemingly locking in a playoff spot last season and then tanking it. I don't need to discuss other sports. The Knicks have been a joke for quite some while. The Rangers never played to their potential, and who knows about the Metrostars? Yes, the past few years have not been good to the Big Apple.

Last night changed all that. The Giants abused Patriots quarterback Tom Brady all night, treating him like the two-timing bastard he is. Not even Brady's dimpled chin could slow down the onslaught of the Giants' defensive line.



Brady fumbled that ball just like he fumbled his paternal responsibility for his child.

The Patriots took the lead late, but I still believed victory was possible. The Giants had time.

With a brilliant evasive move by Eli Manning, and a "how-the-hell-did-he-do-that?" catch by David Tyree, the Giants kept their hopes alive.



Chills, seriously.

For those of you who don't follow the Giants, or football... Eli Manning has been criticized his entire career for poor decision-making. And that guy who caught the pass, David Tyree? Well, Amani Toomer, the Giants' longtime wideout summed it up nicely: "He was dropping everything in practice Friday. " Toomer was being kind. Tyree's dropped everything for 20 weeks.

In that one play, they became legends.



And a few plays later, Plaxico Burress, who is missing one entire leg (and has been all year), completely faked out the Patriots defense and scored on a wide open pass play in the end zone. A few seconds later, that was all she wrote. I cried tears of joy. I wept like a baby.

The Patriots pursuit of perfection derailed. Boston fans everywhere hanging themselves. I went out to celebrate with friends, and Professor Thom's, a bar owned by Bostoners, wouldn't let us in, because we were chanting "18-1." Screw em. Let them have their shitty, empty, depressing bar. We'll take the greatest victory the NFL has ever seen (since the last time a New York team... the Jets... upset a heavily favored Goliath.)

Congrats to the Giants!! I may have badmouthed them at times this year, and at one point, even called for Tom Coughlin's firing. But that's all in the past. Life-time contract for Tom I say. And long-live Eli, the King of New York.

"Forget that parade in Boston. We're having one in New York City.'' -Giants Defensive End Michael Strahan



-------------------
PLUS: Bill Simmons, Boston fan, is a very gracious loser. He also points out that the miracle play has yet to have a name. Adam's Life will be taking suggestions. Post them in the comments below.

Here's my suggestions:

The Perfect Play
The Impossible Play
The Drunken Kangaroo Play (that's the best I can describe the "look" of the play)
The Desert Mirage (because i still can't believe it was real)
The E.T. Play (because the Eli to Tyree play seemed extraterrestrial... and resembled Elliot's flight silhouetted by the moon)
Supernatural (that's what David Tyree called it)

eh... help me out here.

Smartest Play Of The NFL Season

Brian Westbrook is one of the NFL's best running backs. He can catch and run, and often--at least these past two years--he has been nearly the entire Philadelphia Eagles offense. But this week in the NFL, he proved to be one of the NFL's smartest, most selfless running backs as well.

The Eagles, still clinging to playoff hopes, were up on the division-leading Dallas Cowboys 10-6, late in the fourth quarter. The Eagles had the ball on the Dallas 25 yard line. That's when Westbrook broke free and headed untouched towards the end zone. And that was when Westbrook... well, watch:



"Why didn't he score?" You may ask. Well, scoring certainly would have put the Eagles up 17-6 with two minutes to go, nearly assuring them of victory. But not scoring, falling down at the one, absolutely, positively assured the Eagles could run the clock down to zero (by kneeling three times), absolutely, positively resulting in an Eagles win.

The Eagles probably would have won if Westbrook scored. But they definitely won because he didn't.

Westbrook credited his offensive tackle, Jon Runyan, with the good advice.

But to me, even more amazing is that fact that Westbrook heeded that advice. With all the emphasis on individual stats and Sportscenter-highlights in today's NFL, Westbrook made a team decision.

And it ended up on Sportscenter anyway.

Westbrook could have moved into sole-possesion of second place in the NFC for touchdowns on the year. Can you imagine T.O. making that decision?

Of course, fantasy football fans who owned Westbrook are unhappy with the outcome. The Eagles winning by fewer points shouldn't have affected many gamblers, because the Cowboys were favored to win.

But Westbrook's selfless act reminds us that sometimes the best highlights highlight something other than an athlete's physical abilities.

Who Needs A Champion?

ESPN's Gregg Easterbrook is one of my favorite sports columnists, and his column this week is a perfect example of why that is.

I, like many others, have bemoaned college football's lack of a playoff system. "It's unfair," I said. "There's no way to prove who the best team is." I held pretty fast to the belief that the BCS was a load of crap, and we deserved better.

Then I read Easterbrook's column.

Consider me a changed man. He makes excellent points. For one, he points out that the BCS is not really about declaring a champion-- it's about maximizing revenues. Even if you hate capitalism, you may find yourself convinced by his second point...

Currently there are 32 Division I-A bowls, which means that annually 64 big-boy teams get to participate in a season-ending game that confers a title -- the Meineke Car Care Bowl 2007 champion! -- and is shrouded in hoopla. That means basically half of Division I-A advances to a season-ending hoopla event, with one-quarter of Division I-A seasons ending with a huge-hoopla victory. In the NFL, two-thirds of the teams do not advance to any postseason event and just one team ends its season with a huge victory. Thus the bowl system spreads the razzle-dazzle around to a large number of teams, and allows large numbers to say their seasons yielded a final triumph. That's the college spirit!

Anyways, a good read.

Happy Chanukah Everybody!!!

Sesame Street Bad For Kids?


Horrifying!

Just in time for the holidays, season 1&2 of Sesame Street are available on DVD. Just don't buy it for your kids!

The DVD is labeled with a warning to parents, cautioning them that these seasons of Sesame Street are not for today's youth. Apparently, kids today are stupider than ever before, and could be forever harmed by the subtle negative images portrayed in this pre-correctness-era classic. Cookie Monster evily encourages obesity. Oscar may drive kids to suicide. Burt and Ernie fool our kids into thinking homosexuality is fun!!! Egads!!!

I watched Sesame Street and I think I turned out okay. But I guess on some subconcious level, I was set down a path of destruction and doom because Snuffleufugus was just a figment of Big Bird's imagination.

Sheesh. Who knew?

In other news, this is what happens when your football team in 2-9. This is embarassing for Jets fans. They honor future hall-of-famer Jets running back Curtis Martin at halftime, and these guys are out chanting for tits? Buy a porno and keep the pervertedness at home.

Bill Beli-cheat, or "Cheater, Cheater, Patriots Leader"


Bill Belichick, Football Coach, Style-Maven

Way back in late 1960's, Bill Belichick got away with cheating.

He was a star athlete at Maryland's Annapolis High, lettering in football. And faced with an important test days before the big game, he copied down the answers of the kid next to him. He had no time to study, not with all those hours of practice. Besides, he figured, copying another student's answers wasn't really against the rules. Plagarism was defined in the student handbook as "Copying another student's work." I'm not copying his work, Bill thought to himself. I'm copying his answers. I didn't do any "work" at all. According to his interpretation of the rules, Bill didn't think he'd done anything wrong.

He got an A on that test and many years later, went on to become head coach of the New York Jets... for a day, before skipping town and becoming head coach of the New England Patriots.

In November last year, after losing to the Colts and the Jets in consecutive weeks, the Patriots faced a surprising Green Bay team that had won three of its last four games.

Green Bay's offense was stymied, especially after their 3-time MVP quarterback Brett Farve was knocked out of the game late in the first half. New England, on the other hand, had no problem carving up Green Bay's defense, moving seemingly at will up the field. On their first two scoring drives, the Patriots converted on two 4th-down plays. Tom Brady threw for four touchdowns and was only sacked once.

A stellar performance by one of the NFL's most powerful teams... or was it something more sinister??

During the game, Packers security spotted a man videotaping the Green Bay sideline. The man was a member of the Patriots staff, and had no business with a video camera. They made him put the camera away and issued a warning. At the time, it was a mysterious footnote to an ugly game.

But last Sunday, against the New York Jets, another Patriots employee was spotted with a camera. This time, security officials confiscated the camera. And what did they find? The man was videotaping the Jets defensive coach. Videotaping his signals to his defense. The Patriots were studying which signals matched with which defenses, so they could change their play accordingly.

According to ESPN:

The "Game Operations Manual" states that "no video recording devices of any kind are permitted to be in use in the coaches' booth, on the field, or in the locker room during the game." Taping any signals is prohibited.

Bill Belichick had been caught cheating. And what was his response?

"Earlier this week, I spoke with Commissioner Goodell about a videotaping procedure during last Sunday's game and my interpretation of the rules. At this point, we have not been notified of the league's ruling. Although it remains a league matter, I want to apologize to everyone who has been affected, most of all ownership, staff and players. Following the league's decision, I will have further comment."

Repeatedly asked by reporters to clarify his "interpretation of the rules," Belichick instead walked away from the podium and left.

The truth is, I have no idea whether Bill Belichick cheated in high school or not. What I do know is that falling back on "interpretation of the rules," is the mark of a cowardly cheater. And Belichick's blatant disregard for fair play is worse than cheating on a high school test... if he cheated then, he only cheated himself-- now, he's cheated both Patriots and Jets fans out of seeing a fairly played game of football. Which would have been something exciting to watch.

So do to Belichick what you'd do to a kid who repeatedly cheats on tests. Kick him out.

[Note: I write this as a Jets fan.]

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PLUS: Went to the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah concert in NYC last night. Their website offers some tunes for free. Go to clapyourhandssayyeah.com and look in the right hand column.

and

To the Jewish readers out there: HAPPY ROSH HASHANAH!!! Have a sweet New Year!

Bad Sports



What's the deal with professional sports these days??

Barry Bonds' pursuit of the home run record has everybody up in arms about steroids. And speaking of steroids, that wonder hormone allegedly caused pro-wrestler Chris Benoit to murder his wife and child, and then off himself. A more prolific murderer, at least in PETA's view, may be Michael Vick, accused of electrocuting and drowning dogs who lost in brutal dogfights he held at his ranch. But the major money wasn't being bet on the Fido vs. Scraps over-under; mob-backed gamblers made bank by controlling an NBA referee, who made bogus calls to influence the final score of basketball games. Ref Tim Donaghy isn't the only one going nowhere fast: accused performance enhancer and banned bicyclist Floyd Landis sits at home during this year's Tour De France as he awaits the results of his appeal.

Have I left anything out? Anything happen in the NHL?

Sure, in previous years, we've had Kobe's rape, Ray Lewis's nightclub shooting, and O.J. Simpson's high speed freeway drive, but never before can I recall so many sports scandals in such a short amount of time. Is it just coincidence? Or are athletes today just plain rotten?

Certainly, there's an explanation for steroids. In this day and age, more money than ever is on the table for athletes at the top of their game. If a cream or injection can make you 20 million dollars richer, either in endorsements, in a contract, or both, then that's pretty hard to pass up. Barry's story, as related by several sources, is that he saw other athletes doing it and gobbling up all the kudos. He wanted in.

The dogfighting? A little harder to explain. Michael Vick is a very rich man. Dogfighting, as far as I know, neither makes a lot of money or improves athletic performance. Unless of course, holding down dogs underwater is part of Vick's workout regimen.

Vick's sponsors are dropping him like a hot potato (Nike even cancelled the release of his shoe). And when you read the indictment, it's easy to see why...

The property was purchased by Vick in June 2001. Since that time, the named defendants formed a dog fighting enterprise known as “Bad Newz Kennels” and used the property for housing and training pit bulls used in dog fights. From at least 2002, the defendants and others sponsored dog fights at the property, where participants and dogs traveled from South Carolina, North Carolina, Maryland, New York, Texas, Alabama, and other states to participate. Generally, only those accompanying the opposing kennels and “Bad Newz Kennels’” associates attended the fights. For a particular dog fight, the participants would establish a purse for the winning side, ranging from the hundreds to thousands of dollars. Participants and spectators would also place side-bets on the fight. The dog fight would last until the death or surrender of the losing dog. At the end of the fight, the losing dog was sometimes put to death by drowning, hanging, gunshot, electrocution, or another method...

Further, in April 2007, an additional “testing” session was performed by Peace, Phillips, and Vick. Following that session, the indictment alleges that approximately eight dogs were put to death by hanging, drowning, and/or slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.

Yikes. "Bad Newz," indeed.

As for Donaghy, he made the classic gambler's mistake. He got in too deep and couldn't climb out. And in doing so, he's called into question the entire profession of refereeing. Who's to say a bad call isn't something a bit more sinister?

Look how Donaghy's officiating affected a pivotal playoff game last year, between the Spurs and the Suns:



Then there's Floyd Landis, who maintains that he is innocent, a victim of a corrupted testing system. That may be true. Unfortunately for Landis, athletes haven't given us much to trust them on these days. He didn't help his case by allegedly threatening cycling legend Greg LeMond.

I love sports. And I believe that like in any industry, there are a few bad apples. The corporate world had Ken Lay, our government has George W. Bush, and sports has the likes of Tim Donaghy.

But after all we've seen and heard in recent years, can we ever truly trust our beloved sports again?

Or is it worth it to suspend our disbelief so that we may better enjoy watching our treasured athletic pastimes?

Either way, I'm not letting Michael Vick dog-sit.

Wolverines De-Clawed

Well, as everyone predicted, the BCS screwed the Wolverines. Or did it?

Those much-vilified computers actually put Michigan tied with Florida. Which is a much more accurate way of putting it. It was actually the humans that screwed up. Computers smarter than humans? Egads! Is this the dawning of Skynet!?!?!


Note: I am not an artist by trade.

Well, apparently, I have limited time before the creepy exoskeleton robots come to declare Judgement Day, so I'll be brief. How hard would it have been to make an extra game bewteen Florida and Michigan? There's several weeks before the bowls begin. Ohio State had FIVE until the title game. BCS supporters, and lame-os-who-refuse-to-support-a-playoff-system-but cryptically-say-"The BCS needs to be changed" say there's no TIME to insert a playoff system (as if five weeks is not enough).

Ok, so maybe there isn't time (even though there is). How about this. IF there are two teams with the same record that end up 2, 3 in the polls... THEN make an extra "playoff" game. This isn't without precident. It happens in Major League Baseball. Just schedule an extra game, somewhere in that period between the bowls and the end of the regular season, and let the winner go to the national championship game. If there's three teams, have a round robin tournament. If there's four (very unlikely) then go to a 4-team, two bracket "Final Four." Of course, if there's no dispute, then there's no playoff.. simple as that. We're not reinventing the wheel, we're simply adding a tire to it.

Ok, I've gone on too long. John Connor, save us!

Shine On Jarett Macli, Shine On

When I was a sophomore in high school, our JV football coach was a man named Jarett Macli.

Now, when I say "man," I mean Macli was 25, a recent college dropout, back at the old high school he used to go to, in order to make some cash and relive some of his glory days on the football field. He was a kicker. He didn't shave that often. He was INTENSE.

One game, we were up 14-0 at halftime. We gathered around Macli for some words of wisdom. He kneeled down in the middle of us as we stood in a circle, and shook his head.

"Do you guys love football?" He asked.

There were a few mumbled "Yeahs."

He shook his head again. He looked up at us with a bloodshot, crazed look in his eyes. "You guys gotta love football. You guys gotta dream football. You guys gotta breathe football."

At this point, he looked over at Osita "O-Train" Mbadugha. Osita's knee was skinned, glistening red and pink in the dull afternoon light.

Macli reached out.

"You gotta taste football."

And with that, in one swift, shocking motion, he wiped Osita's wound with his dirty fingers, brought his hand back, now covered in blood and a scrap of skin, and licked it clean. "Now get back out there!!!" He shouted.

We lost miserably.

I thought Macli was the only one in the world insane enough to do such a thing (last I heard, he was running a winery in New England) but today, I read this:

Football Coach Licks Wounds

Macli's spirit lives on.

Shine on, Jarett Macli, wherever you are, Shine on.