Search Engines Sweep Nation

First, there was Yahoo!. Then there was Altavista, Lycos, Ask. Finally, there was Google. How many search engines did the world really need?

Well, this month, there's been an eruption of new, "improved," "super-cool," search engines. First, Microsoft announced their latest attempt to beat Google into a bloody pulp and wrap the corpse in a rug: Bing.com. While I don't think anyone will be saying, "I just 'binged' my blind date... I've got to cancel," the site has some very cool features. Chief among them? Their video search, in which you can see full length thumbnail sized versions of every video that comes up in your search results. This is fantastic for watching stuff during work.

But we'd expect a Google-killer attempt from Microsoft. Others, by smaller companies, show that while Google may be a household name, there's plenty of room for other search websites in the marketplace:

Taptu Dancing: One of the biggest complaints about the iPhone is that its web browser doesn’t support Flash animation, which is used on many web pages. And on any cell phone, it can be difficult to find a mobile version of the page you want. Taptu is a downloadable search app that filters out pages featuring Flash and optimizes the search results for viewing on an iPhone or any other mobile device. You can see how it works at taptu.com.

I Have A Hunch: Created by the people who brought you Flickr, Hunch.com is billed as a “decision-making engine.” The website asks you a series of questions designed to gauge your personality, wants and needs (for example, “Do you like bumper cars?”) Then you type in what you’re looking for, such as “Where to go on vacation?” and the site offers results that match what it has learned about you from your answers. The site is designed to adapt as more users ask and answer questions, to improve the accuracy of the results.

Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolfram Alpha: Search for your name on any major search site, and you’ll find a lot of personal websites, news stories, PDF files of your alumni newsletter. But on Wolframalpha.com, a search for your name brings up the number of people in the U.S. that have your name, what years it was most popular in, and how old, on average, people with your name are. Wolfram Alpha provides numerical facts and figures on many topics, though at this stage, there are still some gaps in its knowledge. All it told me about Jessica Alba was that she was born on April 28, 1981 in Pomona, California. Not even a picture? Come on, Wolfram.


That's More Like It. Thanks Bing!

Pass The Koogle, Bubbe- Announced this week, Koogle is a search engine designed for Orthodox Jews, who aren’t allowed to view “immodest” images and other un-kosher search results that may pop up (the name is a play on Google and that popular Jewish dish, kugel). While there are clearly some bugs to work out (some searches result in a 404 Not Found page), its creators hope the site enables the Orthodox community to use the web without fear of compromising their values and beliefs. For instance, I typed in "Jessica Alba," and the website nearly exploded.

Yes, I know she has a baby now and the body can't possibly still be that hot. But let's appreciate the way it was, okay?

Of course, the best search engine is the one at the top of this page, where you can search for things I've written on this blog. It looks like this:



Type in a word, and you'll find out what I think about it. If nothing comes up, then that means whatever you're searching for is terribly, terribly unimportant.

Stare At Jessica Alba

Have to hand it to Will @ Clicked for finding this. There are few better ways to spend two minutes online than to have a staring contest with Jessica Alba.



For the record, she beat me. But that doesn't change the fact that I could stare at her all day.

Fantastic Fox


Jessica Alba Is My Superhero

On the cover of Sunday's Parade Magazine, actress Jessica Alba declares "I wish I were invisible."

Jessica and I have this in common. I too wish to be invisible. While in Jessica's apartment.

That was a joke. I am not a creepy stalker.

But Jessica does raise an interesting point. Is there any room for privacy in the lives of the rich and famous? Or is normalcy forfeited upon reaching a certain profitability in the box office?

Last week, we saw A-Rod gallivanting around town with a stripper/Playboy reject. We saw Lindsay passed out drunk in a car. We saw Paris Hilton buying bibles. Isn't there a war going on? Shouldn't we be giving these celebrities some space and focus on more pressing matters?

No. In fact, celebrity watching is the most vital, important thing this country needs right now. Save the Lindsay Lohan strange knife play photos, save the world.

Without the paparazzi, magazines like US Weekly and Star are replaced on magazine racks with U.S. News and World Report and The Economist. Page Six becomes another page of dismal, soul crushing news. We are a species that seeks stimulation, that is driven mad by routine. Locke couldn't keep pushing the button, and neither can we. Every so often, we need to be reminded there's a mystical island out there for us to explore. It's called Ibiza, and its teeming with topless celebrities.

Yes, while the normal world is at work in an office building, our beloved celebrities are crisping on white sands. While we go to bed at 10 PM on a Tuesday night, setting our alarm for work at 8 am, they're doing lines of coke off of the dashboard of their Maseratis. While we have babies that resemble our ugliest relatives, they have babies born with modeling contracts. And we want to see it all. Not out of malice, or schadenfreude, or because we revel in their humiliation. But because by viewing their lives, through the paparazzi lens, we experience just one half of one percent of a hope that one day, we too can experience that reckless, carefree, decadent lifestyle that normal society tells us is both wrong and impossible.

We'll never be able to frolic in the Caribbean with Jessica. But we can watch someone else do it. And it gives us that glimmer of inspiration. No one ever feels good after reading about Iraq, or seeing photos of genocide victims. But people do feel good after reading US Weekly. They feel good after seeing last nights celebrity party pictures on a gossip blog. Shouldn't we want people to feel good? Shouldn't celebrities want to make us feel good?

So as much as I love Jessica, I have to disagree. I want her to be visible. Because the more visible she is, the more people will be feeling good. And if enough people feel good, maybe they'll start doing good. And if they start doing good, maybe we can all make this whole bag of onions we call a world good as well. It's worth the effort.

So celebrities, paparazzi, get your party on. Let's get some US Weeklys sent to Darfur, post haste. The world needs you now, more than ever.


Wanna go out sometime for milkshakes and fries?