Top Ten "Lost" Characters From Lost

The best show in the history of television, Lost, returns Tuesday night, with a new episode at 9:00 Eastern time. However, even the best of shows can seem to forget about some characters which once seemed as if they could be important. Lost, with its ensemble cast and multiple flashbacks, is full of people that made a quick impression upon Lost fans, but seemingly have fallen by the wayside as the series regulars have shuffled through time and space. Here are my ten lost Lost characters I've been wondering about, and my guess as to the chance we'll ever see them again:

10. Achara



Who dat? Played by model/actress Bai Ling, Achara had sex with Jack a lot when he was abroad in Thailand and branded him with a tattoo. A tattoo which got Jack beat up and inspired that weird Others-sheriff-lady-that-looks-sort-of-like-Ms.-Hawking to comment, "He walks among us, but is not one of us."

Why Should I Care? What's the point of the whole Jack tattoo episode? Does his tattoo and his experience in Thailand have anything to do with the larger mythology of Lost, or even Jack's redemptive arc? I want to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Close to Ziltch. Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have been quoted as saying the Jack's tattoo episode is their least favorite, and was made simply to force the ABC execs to greenlight an end date for the series. Still, I'm holding out hope the writers figure out some way to creatively reconcile this loose thread.

9. Captain Seth Norris



Who Dat? The guy who piloted the Losties on their ill fated first flight to the island of odd happenings. Unceremoniously torn apart by Smokey, the lovable death monster.

Why Should I Care? Greg Grunberg, the actor, deserves better than his role on Heroes, which has basically been reduced to squinting really hard and the camera shaking a lot. In a deleted scene of Lost, Captain Seth Norris calms a nervous Claire, sharing some personal history and appearing like a nice guy. What did Smokey have on him that made him death-worthy?

Chances We'll See Him Again: Good. If the survivors succeeded in rewriting history, then the plane doesn't crash, and Captain Norris is no longer smokey food. Only thing holding him back is his er... work with Heroes.

8. Kevin Callis



Who Dat? Kate's husband, of less than six months, a cop who thinks her name is Monica and is drugged by Kate when she decides to run away.

Why Should I Care? Kevin is played by Nathan Fillion, the totally awesome Captain Mal in Firefly and Serenity, and Captain Hammer in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He also seems to genuinely care for Kate. He was her best chance for happiness with a guy before the messy love quadrangle of Sawyer, Jack and Juliet. His exit feels a bit unresolved. Wouldn't you seek out your (ex)wife if she did this to you?

Chances We'll See Him Again: Slim, however, Fillion is a favorite of series creator J.J. Abrams, so maybe.

7. Starla



Who Dat? Hurley's love interest. Poor Hugo tells us that she ran off with his best friend, one of many events he attributes to the evil numbers.

Why Should I Care? Cause the big man deserves some love. It seems cold that Hurley's best friend and his crush should run away together, just because of some cursed island numbers. Hurley deserves happiness, and this hottie gave it to him, however briefly.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Low. According to a lot of different sources, Libby will be back this season, which could provide love for Hurley. No room for Starla?

6. Helen



Who Dat? The love of Locke's life. Probably his one greatest regret was betraying her trust and losing her.

Why Should I Care? Because its just so damn sad. We saw Helen again... a tombstone. Locke never got a second chance with her. Never even got a chance to apologize. Locke's relationship with Helen was really the one happy thing in a miserable existence off the island. In a show that's shown time and time again how people can find redemption for past mistakes, Locke seems to have no way to overcome this loss.

Chances Of Seeing Her Again: Medium. If all went to plan, and the plane never crashed, then Locke still has time to be with Helen before she dies (of a brain aneurysm). The question is, will the writers give Locke some semblance of happiness? Or will the evil possessed Locke be the focus of the show's final season?

5. Cindy Chandler



Who Dat? Cindy's the flight attendant who hooks Jack up with extra vodka. She also survives the tail splashdown with Ana Lucia and Co. She also disappears in the woods and reappears with the Others, giddily excited to see Juliet branded with a weird symbol.

Why Should I Care? WTF? Was she one of the others all along? What's the deal with her mystery disappearance? Why's she so chummy with the Others all of the sudden? Does she get offended if you call her a stewardess? I want to know, I need to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: 100% Call it a hunch [SPOILERS].

4. Zach & Emma


Who Dat? The adorable little tykes who survived the tail section crash, later seen enjoying life with the Others, even though it really doesn't seem like much fun. I mean, I didn't see a Wii, did you?

Why Should I Care? Because they're the only kids who survived the plane crash, and they were on "Jacob's List." Because weren't they traveling home to their mother, who is presumably distraught over them? Because it's way creepy to think of the Others' obsession with children. What's the story?

Chances We'll See Them Again: I'd say good. You can't just completely ignore the fact that children survived the crash, were taken away, and then were never heard from again. Presumably, they're in the temple with the Others, and have either gone through Walt-like growth spurts since we last saw them or have changed their appearance due to different child actors portraying them.

3. Beatrice Klugh




Who dat? Creepy lady who held Walt captive and spoke Russian with Mikhail, the one-eyed guy, right before she asked him to shoot her.

Why Should I Care? Hello? Her name is Klugh. Like, as in, CLUE. She's got to mean something. We were led to believe she was a leader of some sort in the Others. Why'd she choose to sacrifice herself? Did she? Is she actually still alive, like Mikhail appeared to be, time and time again? What did she mean when she told Michael that Walt was special?

Chances We'll See Her Again: Medium. I can't believe they would introduce a character like this only to kill her off with no explanation. That sounds more like another show, ahem Heroes.

2. Libby



Who dat? Talk about a pivotal character. She not only gives Desmond the boat which he uses to sail to the island, she becomes Hurley's love interest and driving force behind his heroism.

Why Should I Care? Because it turned out she was in the damn MENTAL INSTITUTION! WITH HURLEY!!!! LOOKIN ALL CRAAAAZY! And for the love of all things holy, you can't just leave that unexplained.

Chances We'll See Her Again: 100%. The media has reported it, and frankly, anything less than 100% odds that Libby would be coming back would deeply disturb me. You just gotta explain that mental institution shocker.

1. Annie



Who dat? The little island girl who gives Ben the first birthday present he's ever received without the words "that's for killing your mother" attached to it. Ben keeps the doll to this day, a reminder that he was a child once, in love with a girl.

Why Should I Care? WHAT HAPPENS TO ANNIE!?! We never see it in flashbacks. Does she die in the purge? Does she join the Others? Is she... Kate? (Not sure how that's possible, but it's a theory people have). The people demand to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Medium. I want to say 100%. Cause its a loose thread that dangles a bit too loose. What's the point in featuring her in an episode if we never find out what happens? Ben lingered on that doll a bit too long for us to ignore it. But... well... we saw young Ben last season, and at no time was he in the company of Annie. So whats the deal? Did the writers just forget? That's not really allowed.

I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm spinning the donkey wheel to see if I can end up on Feb. 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 PM. Wish me luck.

Conflict Of Interest

Never before have two of my interests collided so tragically. The final season of Lost, the greatest show ever made, will be preempted for two weeks because of the Winter Olympics, a sporting extravaganza I once attended in Lillehammer, Norway and love to watch as well (I once pretended to be a speed skater to pick up a chick... it failed miserably).

Can't the creators of Lost find some solution other than stopping the season for two weeks? Like maybe they can do some crossover episode in which Hurley attempts the luge in order to escape the Others, and John Locke shows off his deadly accuracy while biathlon-ing through an ice age version of the mysterious island?

Hey, there was a polar bear on Lost once. And Ben Linus does look bad-ass in a parka.


If Ben could push this...


... then couldn't he push this?

I'm just sayin, lets be creative here. Maybe change the time slot for those two weeks of Lost to coincide with a Winter Olympics event no one really wants to watch, like Curling. It's shuffleboard on ice, people! You don't watch shuffleboard, do you?

Yeah yeah. I know, keep dreamin. Bob Costas better bring his A game.

Counter Strike


The Real Cause Of The Writer's Strike: Refusal To Work On Crap Like Cavemen

With no end to the Writers Guild strike in sight, one has to wonder: what do the studios have up there sleeve? Production has already been shut down on many, if not all, of the shows slated for the 2008 season. This week, the studios fired the writers they had on hand, throwing even next year's television slate into jeporady. Thanks to the writers' strike, Lost, Season 4 will only be 8 episodes long, meaning that the answer to the four-toed statue mystery will not be coming anytime soon.

The writers, and just about everyone else, figured the studios would have blinked by now. But the fact that they haven't indicates--at least to me--that the studios have a plan to weather the storm.

This worries me, as a member of the tv-watching public, and it should worry you. Because if you watched that pathetic Golden Globes, it's obvious that without writers (and the actors that support them), all we're left with is Billy Bush and another season of "Battle of the Choirs."

While I back the writers in this fight, I have no desire for TV to become a wasteland of half-baked reality tv and crappy game shows. So I've compiled a list of five ways networks can continue to put out programming that the viewing public can enjoy:

1. Re-run Cancelled Classics. Sometimes, awesome shows met their ends wayyy too soon. CBS's Jericho, for example, about a small town that survives in a post-nuclear-attack America (which was brought back for a second season after pssionate fan demand). Or Fox's Firefly, about a ragtag bunch of space travelers in a wild-west galaxy. No one saw these shows because the networks were glutted with high quality fare like "Celebrity Boxing," "Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire," and "Baby Bob." Now is the time to bring them back for a second run. A dedicated cult following will watch the shows, and they'll appear brand new to those who haven't seen them before (and that's most people). Better yet, the shows may undergo a "Family Guy"-style rebirth, with renewed interest sparking DVD sales and increasing demand for new episodes.

I'm not the only one with this idea. Alan Sepinwall, tv critic, is featuring the cancelled tv show "Cupid" on his blog, as part of his "Strike Survival Club." How long until the networks follow suit?

(also, what about a show featuring failed pilots (like "Heat Vision and Jack"?? Wouldn't it be interesting to see what the network execs passed on?? They're already in the can, and could be either great or unintentionally humorous.)

2. Feature High-Quality Online Hits. Notice the words "High Quality." I'm not talking YouTube sensations like that crying "Leave Britney alone" guy/girl and the infamous dancing baby. I'm talking about drawing from a pool of millions of shows that are only currenly available online. These include animated cartoons, comedy sketches, and fully-produced live action sitcoms. Check out programs like Jonah Ray's Freeloader's Guide To Easy Living. You're telling me a show like this couldn't fly on Fox? While many online shows have their dedicated followings, none enjoy the type of viewership that comes with having a program on network television. Nearly all would jump at the chance to take their show, and their production values, to the next level.

3. Go back to season one. Lost is a brilliant show, but if you haven't seen the first season, you probably don't know what the hell is going on. Same thing with Prison Break. And 24. While the first seasons of these shows were all huge hits, it's likely that millions missed them. Now's the chance to get those viewers caught up.

The first season of a series is usually the best, because everything has been planned out and fully conceived by the time the season starts. The writers and producers had a long time to imagine and construct a great plot, and most likely, had a signifigantly higher budget than they would have in the following years. By re-running these first seasons, networks can attract new viewers who will watch the shows when they come back on, and remind current followers of the show just what greatness these shows are capable of.

4. Go British!! Ok, so no one cares about the Golden Globes. That's pretty apparent from the bulk of the comments people made after this week's "ceremony." "Best Golden Globes ever!" some people shouted. But what happens when the Grammys get cancelled? And the Emmys? And (gasp) the Oscars??

Enter the BAFTAS.

That's right. The British Academy of Film and Television Awards. All the fun of the Oscars... plus british accents! Half the celebrities on tv and in movies now are British anyway. And Americans have been copying British sitcoms (like The Office) for a while now. So lets go back to the motherland and mine their shores for entertainment.

5. Hire me. I am not a member of the WGA. I will work for peanuts. And I am very talented. Hire me and a couple of non-union actors and actresses, and we'll put together a show that will be at least as funny as ABC's Cavemen.

With all these options available, the writer's strike doesn't need to be the end of television. But let's hope this thing gets settled soon, because there's only so much the American public can take of reruns.

And I need to know the story behind that damn four-toed statue.

So LOST Has Something To Do With Buddhism



Well, after last week's time-bending (and mind bending episode), this week's Lost sought to give us a dose of reality. LOST reality, anyway, whatever that is.

SPOILER ALERT: Read no further if you haven't seen the Feb. 21st episode of LOST... Or if you don't care about the show.

This week, we got to see Jack in Phucket, Thailand, where he drank coca cola, flew kites (yes, kites) and had a steamy love affair with Bai Ling, a Playboy covergirl and apparently some kind of mystical tattoo artist.

Things were going pretty well for Jack, who was having all the hot sex and ice cold cokes a guy could want. But, like an idiot, he had to ruin it all by stalking Bai to find out more about her.

And what did he find out? Well, she can "see who people really are." And then she tattoos what she sees on their shoulders. And who is Jack? "A leader." But it makes him miserable and angry. Or something like that. I don't have Tivo. I'll have to watch the episode online tomorrow.

He forces her to give him the tattoo, even though it's against well... the rules. Who's rules? I wasn't quite sure. All I know is that the next day, Jack didn't get his ice cold cokes. He got a fist in the face. And a couple more blows in even worse places. Bai Ling's brother and his friends were majorly PISSED.

Meanwhile, back on "Alcatraz," or "the other island," or "cage world," whatever you call it, the Others move Jack from his cell. Why? They're moving Juliet in. Why? She's on trial. Why? She shot that dude in the last episode. Creepy lady from Desmond's flashback/time travel? is in charge now, and she questions Jack about Juliet's plan to kill Ben. Jack says he made it up. Creepy lady doesn't believe him.

So Jack goes back to the bear cage. And while he's there, a yellow school bus pulls up and a bunch of schoolchildren pour out, apparently on a field trip chaperoned by none other than the stewardess of flight 815, Cindy. Ok, no bus pulls up. But it certainly seemed as if Cindy and the other people with her thought they were on some sort of field trip. "We came to watch," Cindy says cheerfully, and, infuriatingly, neglects to tell Jack what she's planning on viewing. Little does Jack know, they're on their way to watch another maddening episode of LOST.

Actually, I assume Cindy meant they were going to watch Juliet's trial, which Alex informs Jack about. Apparently, the penalty for killing an Other is death. Jack decides to go to Ben to ask him to spare Juliet's life. Ben does, but orders Juliet to be "marked." We also learn that Ethan, killed by Charlie, was the Others' chief surgeon.

Unlike Jack's inked tats, Juliet's "mark" seems to be branded into her skin. Jack applies aloe to it. New romance? Ukk. I hope not. The ending shot of Alex's rescued boyfriend (who apparently has never heard of "The Brady Bunch"-- i.e. he was born on the island) looking up at the stars and then it panning across the sky to Alex was a little too mushy if you ask me.

But you didn't read this to hear criticism. You came here for answers. I'll do the best I can. Check out my previous Lost theory if you're interested.

Thailand is a predominantly Buddhist country. As we know, elements of the show point to Buddhism, like the Dharma Initiative and the octogon-like symbol found everywhere:


Left, The Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism. Right, Symbol for the Swan Station

Looking this info up on Wikipedia, I came across this:

According to a saying attributed in some traditions to the Buddha, if a person does not follow the goal of Total Realization, one lives one's life like a preoccupied child playing with toys in a house that is burning to the ground.

What if the island is that "burning house" that the Losties can't escape until they've reached the goal of "Total Realization"? Chew on that.

After all, in the last episode, one of the flashes on the brainwashing movie screen said "We are the causes of our own suffering." This statement correlates with the Buddhist Four Noble Truths, which states similarly, that:

The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering relates to the correct meditative cultivation of the tathagatagarbha (indwelling Buddha Essence in all beings) and not erroneously viewing it as non-Self and empty; cessation of suffering also arises with the elimination of inner defilements, when one can then enter into the Buddhic Essence within oneself: "When the afflictions have been eradicated, then one will perceive entry into the tathāgata-garbha"

Chew on THAT!!

But my mind was really blown when I uncovered "The Four Buddhist Stages Of Enlightenment":

1. The ordinary person "has little control over his mind and behavior, his destiny is haphazard and subject to great suffering."

This seems to describe most people on the island.

2. The noble person "begins sincere training on the Buddhist path and experiences the truth to the extent of cutting of a number of the ten mental fetters and is sure of enlightenment."

This seems to describe Locke.

3. The non-returner does not come back into human existence, or any lower world, after death. Instead, he is reborn in one of the worlds of the Rūpadhātu called the Śuddhāvāsa worlds, or "Pure Abodes", where he will attain Nirvāna."

Eko perhaps?

4. The fourth stage is that of Arahant, a fully enlightened human being.

The Others? Desmond?

The Buddhist concept of Six Realms seems to have a place in Lost mythology as well, mentioning that people can be reborn as a deva (Cher?), an asura, a human being, an animal (polar bear), a hungry ghost (smoke monster??), or a being in Naraka (hell).

I feel like I'm getting somewhere. But my limited Buddhist knowledge holds me back. Perhaps Richard Gere could help. Does he watch LOST?

Apparently, the island provides some way of reaching Nirvana, or creating a perfect world. By turning the key, Desmond instantly reached a higher plane of enlightenment, and, apparently, so did Eko and Locke. Are the Others merely Buddhists who eschewed the whole "nonviolence" thing a while ago? Is Thailand somehow connected to this mystical island? Are the LOST writers just trying to convert us to Buddhism?????

Anyone care to share their ideas on what all this means??

And was there any point to Shannon's flashbacks in Seasons 1 & 2???