This Revolution Should Not Be Televised

If you were a first time watcher of NBC's Revolution this week (and given the dwindling ratings, that's unlikely), you may have been confused. 

"I thought they had no power? No one seems to act like it."

Indeed, with all the helicopters, cars, automatic weapons, computer screens, glowing pendants, you'd think at least one of these characters or the people they meet who spent the last decade-plus in the dark would be fascinated and perhaps a bit hopeful by the newfound presence of electricity. But like the writers of the show, they seem to have stopped caring much about the concept of a world without power after the first few episodes. 

However, this is not a show undone by the lack of devotion to its core concept. It's a show undone by shoddy internal logic and woefully insufficient character building. This is a show where characters do mind-numbingly stupid things just to advance the plot. Where a flashback seemingly designed to inform a character's backstory (ala LOST) lasts about a minute and is largely cliched and pointless (the big baddie's backstory thus far? He once slept with his former best friend Miles's girlfriend. Ooh.)

Fine actors are absolutely wasted in their parts. The biggest example--besides Juliet from LOST seeming angrier to be on this disaster with each episode--was the show's use of Mark Pellegrino (Jacob from Lost). When he first appears, it's as little more than a background character... But his acting ability instantly marks him as someone more capable than the actor he shares scenes with, the one-dimensional Monroe. When he finally does get significant lines in the script, it's to explain that he's "one of Monroe's oldest and closest friends," something not even hinted at in the previous episodes. Pellegrino is so good he actually sells it with the hurt, wounded look in his eyes. But no matter. Spoiler Alert: He's killed a few scenes later, illustrating something that we already know: Monroe's a paranoid crazy man who kills pretty much anyone he's ever had a one on one conversation with. 

That brings up another crucial failing of the show. Monroe is so one-dimensional that you question why anyone would follow his lead. In one episode, he orders the townspeople to be rounded up and locked inside a building, which he then orders to be set on fire. Mark Pellegrino briefly questions this, but no one seems to want to stop this lunacy. Are they all just as crazy as Monroe? What is it about the guy that inspires his followers? Couldn't anybody else do his job better? The guy has ELECTRICITY for goodness sakes, and instead of rebuilding his territory and giving the power to his people, instead uses it to ineffectually pilot helicopters that are no good at targeting anything but extras and redshirts with efficiency. Do you know what would happen if the Monroe republic was the only place with electric light, heat, tv, Internet, etc? The other countries would surrender to Monroe immediately. Their people would demand it, in order to access the technology. Instead, Monroe treats it like a toy. And not even an important toy. The number of pendants and generators that have been easily slipped out of his camp must number in the hundreds at this point. 

That's another thing. Juliet from Lost and the-random-scientist-we-forgot-about that was shot in this most recent episode (another good actor given little to do and dispatched this week) both are able to put together these portable electric amplifiers pretty easily. WHY AREN'T THEY DOING THIS? Why didn't they start doing it from minute one of the blackout? They could have sold these things and made billions. Or given them to the Georgia federation and Governor Ben Affleck in California (the show's best moment). Heck, why even make the trek to "The Tower" at all?? (The Tower, obstensibly, has the ability to turn the nanobots off and restore power everywhere) Just build a million of those generator thingys and it becomes a moot point.

 In this last episode, the characters all find themselves in a contrived "who-done-it?" plot at an airfield in the middle of nowhere. Despite knowing their final destination would be out of range of their gas tank, they don't bring extra fuel. At this abandoned airfield, characters WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WERE ON THE HELICOPTER start dying in gruesome ways. Someone is killing them. Guess who?

No, seriously, guess who? They story briefly becomes interesting, because the fact is, everybody except for Charlie and Miles could be the killer. Nora's coming down from hallucinogenic drugs after being tortured for no apparent reason (seriously, how hard is it to find Miles? Monroe bumps into him every other episode), Neville's an established villain who's tried to kill everybody multiple times, his son was offered some shady job by a Monroe spy, the scientist-we-forgot-about was just torturing Nora a few scenes back, and Hudson... well, I guess he's mad about losing his wife, but he's apparently okay enough to joke about it.

How does this crew figure out who the murderer is? Do they set a clever trap? Analyze the scene and evaluate the clues (Clue was the title of this episode)? No. The scientist-we-don't-remember sees that the knife used to kill the guys was manufactured in Maryland, and Hudson happened to be in Annapolis a few days ago. How this proves anything is beside the point, and it doesn't really matter, because Hudson shoots and kills the scientist before attempting to kill Miles. He's shot by Neville's son, and Neville seems kind of proud. It's a heartwarmer.

The AvClub recap commenters weigh in: 

"So I don't get how the knife's origin proves anything...like saying..."Hey, this was made in China...who's been in China recently."

"And why on earth are people making knives? There must be a thousands of knives lying around from before the collapse that would be of far better quality than could be made without electricity."

"The knife was clearly manufactured, i.e pre-power outage, unless they've adapted steam power to again enable mass production of uniform, interchangeable parts, which would be interesting if only the show's creators gave even a single thought to creating a believable, consistent world!"

All valid points.

"Monroe just blew up Miles' last campsite, so how would Nora [tortured in a windowless room for 21 days] even know where he'd go next?"

" instead of just shooting Miles in the head at any opportune moment in Georgia, Hudson concocts an elaborate scheme to strand everyone including himself in the middle of nowhere and pick them off one by one. Assuming he succeeds, how exactly is he going to get word to Monroe's people with enough evidence to get his wife back?"

So true.

Is there any saving this thing? Can it be more than a vehicle for hate-watching? 

Sure. Kill all the characters, refocus the show on a mysterious island, and make a plane crash happen. Rename the show Lost and hire a writing staff that knows how to make believable characters.

Game of Thrones is back baaaaby!

I've let go of Lost, that brilliant, now deceased television show that every subsequent show starring former Lost actors now tries to mimic. I'm now equally enthralled with Game of Thrones, which opened its 3rd season with its main characters strewn across the globe of Westeros, all seeking to define themselves in this next stage of the Game.

Bastard Jon Snow is as far North as far gets, and that little speech he gives to Mance Rayder, King of the Wildlings, almost convinces me he's legit gone rogue. He's not playing for the Black Cloaks anymore. He's had a taste of some red headed wild child and he's seen some shady crow deals with white walkers. I know who I'd rather hang out with.

Jon's Half-brother, the King of the North, finds his bannermen slain at an abandoned Harrenhall. Suddenly, Katelyn's betrayal really becomes clear to me. She deserves to be put in a cell. Probably worse. She made an incredibly stupid and selfish decision to free Jamie. Lady Katelyn, blinded by grief and fear, traded Jamie for her two daughters. Only one of whom is actually in the Lannisters' grasp. He was a bargaining chip that could have ended the war! Winter is Coming. If everyone doesn't start looking north soon, there won't be a seven kingdoms to fight over.

Sansa wants to play pretend. Indeed, that's what she's been doing ever since coming to Kings Landing. She's playing a part, acting courtly while she fears for her life. She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (unlike her clever sister Arya, off-screen this week), but she is preparing to sail away from all this with Peter Baelish (who has his own designs, as always, and a redhead that looks just a little bit like Sansa.)

Our dear Khaleesi wants to take back the seven kingdoms of Westeros, but she can't do it without an army. Her seasick horsemen are looking like its Sunday morning after the kegger. But she's no fan of buying Ken-doll slaves forced to kill babies. By the way, why did vaguely Arabic Ben Kingsley feel the need to slice off a nipple? That's just rawwwng, man.

But our dear Khaleesi is not the only woman in Westeros with eyes on the crown. Our dearest Marjorie Tyrell, giver of gifts to the impoverished orphans, (and terrific breasts to Jofferey and me). Her blood runs warm, but unless she knows how to bludgeon a prostitute to death, I doubt King Joffery will really get that into her. One thing's for sure, Incest Mama Cersei is NOT a fan.

Cersei's not a fan of Our Pal Tyrion either. Cersei visits his cell... I mean, room, and basically tells him she still carries a grudge for some incident involving a servant girl when she was 9. Tyrion's dad, Tywin the well groomed, tells Tyrion that his grudge against his vertically-different son goes back to the day of the boy's questionable birth. No Casterly Rock for him. Ouch.

Sir Davos the Onion Knight is not dead, but his son sadly is. He's loyal to Stannis till the end, which of course means the Red Woman has him immediately locked away. No more demon babies as of yet.

Finally, our Dear Khaleesi nearly falls for the old poisonous-Fukajima-neon-green-scorpion-in-the-wooden-ball trick. Sir Barristan, old guy, sworn defender of two murdered kings, shows up to save her life and to pledge his services. The dragon queen's wannabe-Loverboy looks a bit threatened.

There were a lot of characters we didn't see this week... And that leads me back to Lost. Lost had tons of characters too. All with rich back stories. Ditto for Game of Thrones. Both shows have handled the development of a large cast of characters with ease. Revolution, featuring Juliette from Lost, should take some notes.

One Last Lost Post

I'm done. I swear. But tonight I went on Lostpedia and read through a few key episode recaps to see if I could see foreshadowing for the finale in seasons 1-5. And even though I chose at random, in every episode recap I read, there were hints and whispers at Lost's endgame. It's really quite something, and makes me think that the writers definitely had that magic pool of light, and Jack's sacrifice, in mind the whole time.

First, I clicked on "Enter 77," from Season 3. These moments stood out:

Amira comes in with a cat. She tells him that when she and her husband came to Paris, she was afraid to leave their apartment until she heard the cries of a cat being tortured by boys with firecrackers, and she felt compelled to rescue it. She has kept him as a pet even though the cat sometimes bites her because she knows what it is like never to feel safe, because of Sayid.

She asks him to show her the respect of acknowledging what he did and that he remembers her. Finally he tells her that he does remember her face, that it has haunted him ever since. He weeps, and tells her that he is sorry for what he has done to her. To Sayid's amazement Amira forgives him and tells Sayid she will tell her husband that she is mistaken and should release Sayid. Sayid asks why she would not kill him. She says every person has it within them to behave like the boys who tortured the cat but she does not want to choose that path.

This goes along with what Dogen said this final season about a scale being inside of everyone, on one side good, and one side bad. It goes along with the reckoning at the end of the show: which is that no one is irredeemable. This woman knows Sayid as her torturer, but she still believes he can be a good person. As we saw in the finale, and throughout the final season, this is indeed the case.

This part too:

Sayid arrives and tells Klugh to drop her gun. Kate hits her, saying she helped kidnap them and she knows where Jack is. Sayid asks Klugh if there are any others there, but she acts unafraid, hardly intimidated by the rifle.

They take her upstairs and outside, where Mikhail has Locke at gunpoint. Mikhail offers a hostage exchange but John claims Mikhail wouldn't kill him. Klugh talks and argues with Mikhail in Russian while Kate, Locke and Sayid shout. Finally she orders him to "do it" and he shoots her in the heart. Mikhail is knocked over and Sayid points his gun at him. Mikhail tells him to finish it, but Sayid doesn't shoot.

Ask yourself, why are Klugh and Mikhail not afraid of death? Why does Klugh tell Mikhail to shoot her? And why does he?

Well, they're Others. And as the show's made clear, Others don't all know the same information. Some know more, some know less. Depending on how long you've been on the island, and what ghosts you've spoken to, you may know about that Afterlife Universe. You may know that death sends you back into the light, awaiting rebirth or heaven or whatever wondrous thing it is.

It's clear in this scene that Klugh and Mikhail know that when they die, its not the end of the world. They already know the island-powered afterlife awaits them.

Then I clicked on "White Rabbit":

A young Jack lies on the ground in fear as a bully threatens him, while his friend, Marc Silverman, is being beaten by another bully. Jack attempts to intervene, resulting in him getting a black eye from the bully.

Later on, Jack explains the fight to his father, who tells Jack about his day at the hospital over a glass of whiskey on the rocks. Christian says that he's able to cope with the difficult job of surgeon because he "has what it takes." He claims that he can make life or death decisions daily, because even when he fails, he can live with the consequences. He concludes that Jack should not "decide," because if he failed, he wouldn't "have what it takes".

Sounds a lot like Jack preparing for another instance in the future when he'll need to sacrifice himself for a friend, doesn't it? Like when he has to beat the big bad bully Locke in the season finale. Of course, now he has "what it takes."

Also, look at what happens on island this episode:

Jack finds the suited man at the edge of the jungle, and when the man turns around, it is revealed to be his father. After recovering from his shock, Jack chases the man into the jungle. As Jack runs further into the jungle, his father disappears and reappears several times, and the pursuit is punctuated several times by the adding machine sound of the Monster. The chase culminates when Jack sees his father closer than he has appeared before, and runs toward him full force, almost as if to tackle him. Christian disappears once more, leaving Jack to fall down a rocky hill, rolling off the side of a cliff.

The smoke monster admitted appearing as Christian in this episode. In that case, this is most certainly one of the first instances of the monster trying to kill one of Jacob's candidates. And he follows the rules. He tries to get Jack to kill himself by luring him to leap to his death. Luckily, John Locke is there to save the day.

Then I looked at "Do No Harm":

Jack sits on the edge of the hotel pool, soaking his feet, with a half full bottle of alcohol. His father walks up from behind and joins him. Jack is still having trouble writing his vows. He's anxious that he may not make a good husband, and that he may have only proposed to Sarah in the first place because he saved her life. His father offers, "Commitment is what makes you tick, Jack. The problem is that you're just not good at letting go."

If I have to point out the parallels to Christian and Jack's last moments together in the series finale, then you didn't watch.

This was also the episode of Aaron's birth, which factored heavily in the series finale. But most of all, it reminded me of all the people Jack has promised to fix, save, and rescue over the years. For the first 5 seasons plus, he's mostly failed at that. They mostly got killed. But in the finale, he does what he said he would do all along. By saving the light, he does save them. He allows their souls to enter the light and whatever lays beyond it. Otherwise their afterlife would have been darkness.

Finally, I looked at "Stranger In A Strange Land": You know the finale is really something when it even makes the worst episode of Lost make more sense: Achara, who sees people as they really are, can see Jack's destiny to be a Jacob-like figure. "He walks among us, but he is not one of us." Why does he get attacked and spit on when the community finds out about his tattoo? Well, maybe because Jacob was such a bastard at ruling the island, they think Jack will be too. How do any of them know any of this? Easy. They're Others who have left the island.

One last thought. I agree the finale had its issues. There's a lot that didn't get resolved on screen, and there was needless obscurity and frustratingly secretive characters. And we all wanted so badly for everyone to have been alive, and jughead to have worked, that it was sad to find out that indeed, "What Happened, Happened." But... that was Lost. Whatever sadness we may feel about Ji-Yeon being an orphan (personally, I like to think that Hurley looked after her from afar), the ending made it clear that one day, she will be united with her parents, like Jack was with his father. That's Lost's message: that life isn't over at death. No matter how much "they fight, they destroy," every soul has a chance at redemption. It only ends once.

Of course, all of this is just interpretation. But its an easy one to make. And I'm very impressed that in these older episodes, even in seasons that people thought were weak, there are things that can be explained by the final season. I have a feeling that by watching Lost from the beginning, a lot more will come together.

That's all. I'm spent. Happy Lost Re-Watching, Everyone!

Lost Scenes From The Lost Series Finale, "The End"

Some people don't think the Lost Finale gave closure to a lot of things. And they're right. A lot is left very open ended (ironic, considering the last five minutes is the death of all the characters). That got me thinking. The finale was two and a half hours. What if it was three? What would have been wrapped up in the missing scenes from the last episode of Lost?

Here, exclusively on Adam's Life, I have the deleted scenes from the Lost finale, "The End". You won't even find this on Carlton and Damon's personal laptops:

[Instead of Miles and Richard finding Lapidus alive in the water, we see Lapidus first, washing up alone on shore. He finds a discarded Ajira water bottle and drinks thirstily. He turns to see Seth Norris, the original pilot of Oceanic 815, standing next to him.]


The Pilots Finally Meet

SETH NORRIS: Hello Frank.

LAPIDUS: [jumps] Jesus! Seth? Are you… are you…

SETH: Dead? Well. Yes. In a way, I guess I am.

LAPIDUS: What are you doing here?

SETH: What are YOU doing here, Frank?

LAPIDUS: [pauses] To find you.

SETH: Why?

LAPIDUS: Because I didn't believe you were dead.

SETH: Well now you know that I am. And someone else needs to know too.

[Seth reaches down, takes off his wedding ring, hands it to Lapidus]

SETH: You understand?

LAPIDUS: I understand.

SETH: Now you have to hurry if you want to catch up with Miles and Richard.

LAPIDUS: I don't know where they are. I don't know where I am.

SETH: They're at the docks on the other side of the island. And they're leaving soon.

LAPIDUS: How do I get there in time?

SETH: The same way the Others do. [dramatic pause] Use the tunnels. Come. I'll show you.

[As they walk away, Seth puts his arm around Lapidus.]

SETH: Oh, and you have to bring a few people with you. You'll love the woman. She's a flight attendant.

[Cut to Miles and Richard preparing the outrigger to sail to Hydra Island. Lapidus reaches them before they can leave, Cindy the flight attendant, Zack and Emma in tow. There, on the beach, he convinces them to fly off the island, not blow the plane up]


Cindy, Zack and Emma Get Off The Island

[Rest of finale goes exactly as aired, until:]


[Jack's eye closes.]

[After Jack's eye closes, the scene changes to the Ajira plane.]

KATE: What do we tell people when we land? We took off with all those people on board. Now it's just us. They'll ask us questions. And we can't tell them about the island.

MILES: Maybe we can land someplace where no one will notice.

LAPIDUS: You know any airports that won't notice a beat up, presumed lost 747 landing on their runway?

[Desmond has a realization. He smiles.]

DESMOND: Can you fly this thing to Antarctica, brutha?

LAPIDUS: If these hydraulics can hold out, I just might. Why?

DESMOND: A friend of mine's got a runway there.


Desmond has a plan

[The scene suddenly switches to a landscape of snowy peaks in blizzard conditions. The camera pulls back to reveal that it's a shot through a window. We see the inside of a fairly small shelter filled with equipment and laundry hanging from lines. THE SAME SHACK FROM THE SEASON 2 FINALE. One man is getting coffee while another man waits at a chess board. Man #2 kicks something.]


Remember These Guys? They find Desmond again.

MAN #2: Quem quebrou isso, hein?

MAN #1: Não se preocupe. Tá quebrado. Destruí sua defesa. Essa será sua última vez que verá "o" torre. [Subtitled from Portuguese: I crush your defense and that is the last you shall see of your rook. ]

MAN #2: Parte do plano, meu amigo. Tudo parte do plano. [Subtitle: All part of the plan, my friend.]

MAN #1: Ah, então seu plano deve ser perder. Agora, por favor. [Subtitle: Ah. Then your plan must be to lose. Please. Your move.]

[Man #2 looks over a piece of equipment. We can see a screen that says Electromagnetic Anomaly Detected.]

MAN #1: O quê? [Subtitle: What? ]

MAN #2: Há quanto tempo tá fazendo isto? [Subtitle: How long has it been doing that? ]

[Man #1 goes over to the equipment and hurriedly looks through a book.]

MAN #2: É isso, não é? A gente não percebeu de novo. Eles vão matar a gente! [Subtitle: That's it, isn't it? We missed it again... ]

MAN #1: Fica quieto! Nós não o perdemos! [Subtitle: We didn't miss it! ]

[An alarm starts beeping and Man #1 goes to a computer screen.]

MAN #2: Fala! Fala de novo que não é um alarme falso. Fala, fala de novo. Fala que eu... [Subtitle: So it's not a false alarm this time?! ]

MAN #1: Cala a boca e chama ajuda!! [Subtitle: Just shut up and call!! ]

[We see a bedroom nightstand and hear the phone on it ringing.]


Penelope picks up the phone.

PENELOPE: Hello.

MAN #2: Ms. Hume?

PENELOPE: Yes.

MAN #2: It's us. I think we found him.

[Scene changes to Afterlife Universe, the Universal Church. Our Losties are at the door of white light, ready to walk through.]

[We cut back to the original universe, to a door opening. Claire's mom. She's stunned to see Claire standing in front of her. Aaron peeks out from behind her. Claire and Claire's Mom embrace. Claire sees Aaron and cries tears of joy. ]


Claire, Her Mom, and Aaron Finally Reunite

[Cut to Afterlife Universe, the Universal Church. Claire and Charlie step into the light.]

[We cut to another door opening. It's Cassidy, the mother of Sawyer's child. She's stunned to find Sawyer standing in front of her. Clementine comes up behind her, curious about the man at the door.]


Sawyer Finally Meets His Daughter

[Cut to, Aft. Universe, Universal Church, Sawyer and Juliet step into the light.]

[We cut to another door opening. It's Miles, exiting a black car. Miles goes to the graveside of his mother, places on top of it a torn patch—a Swan station patch. Pierre Chang's Swan station patch.]


Miles makes peace with his father.

[Cut to Aft. Universe. Pierre Chang walks through to light]

[Cut to another door opening. Seth Norris's grieving widow. Lapidus hands her Seth Norris's wedding ring.]


Lapidus delivers Seth Norris's wedding ring to his widow.

[Behind Lapidus, we see Cindy sitting in his car waiting for him, smiling.]

[Cut to Aft. Universe. Seth Norris walks into light.]

[Cut to a door opening. A barn door. An elderly Richard emerges, holding a pitchfork. He tills the fields, sweating. Eloise Hawking, now the same age as him, and hair down for once, lovingly hands him a glass of water. He drinks thirstily, hands the glass back, and as she walks back to house, he looks off into the distance and fingers the cross around his neck.]


Richard and Eloise! Didn't see that one coming!

[Cut to Universal church, Richard walks into the light]

[Cut to a door opening. A plane door. Out comes a young Asian girl. Awaiting her is Desmond, Penelope and little Charlie. They're adopting Ji-Yeon. A woman we've never seen comes out of the plane two, eyes searching. She sees Zack and Emma, runs to them. They all embrace. Zack, Emma and their mother are reunited at last.]


Children finally meet their mother. Ji-Yeon has a family

[Cut to Universal Church. Desmond and Penelope walk into the light, followed by Jin and Sun.]

[Finally, Cut to a door opening. It's Kate, leaving her bathroom at home. Her face a mixture of fear and hope. She looks down at what she holds in her hands. A pregnancy test. It's positive. She smiles, cries.]


So THAT'S who Jack's son is in the afterlife timeline!

[Cut to Jack and Kate, walking into the light together]


A Happy Ending For Jack and Kate

LOST

Now that's what I call closure.

Lost: The End



After six seasons, Lost is finally over. How was the ending? Two hours and 25 minutes of awesomeness... and then five minutes of confusion, greatly impacted by what I assume is ABC's decision to pair the closing credits with a shot of Season 1's Oceanic 815 fuselage chillin on the beach.

Warning, Spoilers ahead.

Here's my interpretation, after a night's sleep and a whole lot of thinking in circles.

There is an island. Hidden on the fringes of the real world, in a place where time and space are irrelevant. On this island is the Source. As the woman who raised Jacob and the MIB said in the Season 6 episode "Across The Sea", the light at the center of the island is Source of everything: "life, death, and rebirth."

In the last five minutes of the finale, Christian Shepherd reveals to Jack, and us, that Sideways-World we've been seeing this last season is really the afterlife-- a sort of meeting place before souls can "move on". Move on to where? Well, that might depend on your religious beliefs, but whatever is on the other side of that light, it's clearly either some form of heaven or reincarnation. Think of the Flash-Sideways as really a Fast-Forward Flash-Forward... what we're seeing is happening at some time far in the future when all the characters we know have all died.

In this last episode, we saw how necessary this flash-sideways afterlife was: it allowed these people, some of whom died without their purpose in life fulfilled, some who died without saying goodbye, some of whom had other unflinished business, to resolve their issues, to reunite and remember the joys and adventures they had throughout their life. For someone like Ben, who had his childhood stolen and his life manipulated for the worse, the afterlife is a place where he can be a hero and a real father. For someone like Jack, it's where he can finally get some resolution with his father. For Locke, its a place where he can spend happiness with Helen again. For Sayid, its a place where he can learn to finally forgive himself. Etc. Their realizations may have been aided by Desmond, Hurley, and others, but it doesn't matter: they happen all the same, and when they do, the characters can finally move on. They're not trapped, like Michael, the whispers, and the ghost we see Miles talk to back in the real world (remember when he found that money in the kid's hiding spot?)

Now back to the island. The Source, as a line of defense, conceals its location on the island (and the location of the island itself). But the island does exist in the real world (otherwise, how could one travel back and forth from it?). So its inevitable that people will find it. And clearly, some should. Because the island, as Jacob said in "Ab Aterno," is a real place where people can change their lives. Where their past doesn't matter. Where they can work out their issues BEFORE death. For the Losties, it was the place where they learned what kind of people they really were.

But as the Woman warned Jacob and the MIB, some people shouldn't come to the island. Because if they got too close to the Source and destroyed it... well, goodbye life, death, rebirth, everything. If the light here dies, if Smokey succeeds in destroying the island, or leaves it without a protector to be destroyed by some curious man, the heaven or reincarnation that relies on the island's source is gone. If the light goes out, then there is so flash-sideways afterlife, or great white light beyond that. No cloud blanketed heaven or Buddhist reincarnation. No happy cast-party in a all-religions church and a door of light opened by Christian Shepherd. Just...

Darkness.

Or, Dead is Dead.

So the island needs protectors. And since it exists in the real world, its protectors are human beings who come to the island either by fate (Desmond), by their own exploration (Dharma, Charles Widmore) or by invitation from the island's current protector (the Losties and the Candidates among them). MIB didn't want the job, and he almost led to the island's demise. But Jack did want the job, and he sacrificed his life to do it. He closes his eyes, and lies down, in the same spot where he opened his eyes and got up in the Pilot episode. Dying, now that he's completed his purpose: saving heaven and rebirth. Saving life.

That's what the Losties accomplished on the island. What they needed to accomplish all along. The island wouldn't let them go before because it needed them, all of them, especially Jack, to save and protect the source, which was in peril due to Jacob and the MIB's sibling rivalry. Once the Losties did their duty, they were free--to go to the afterlife, to return back to the real world, or, in Hurley and Ben's case, to stay and protect the island.

At the church of all religions, Hurley thanks Ben for being a great #2. It's clear that Hurley and Ben have not been island partners for the mere seconds it seemed in the episode. As Christian Shepherd says to Jack, the afterlife is a place where time doesn't matter. We're supposed to realize that we're seeing Hurley and Ben again at the end of their unseen reign on the island. Did they help heal lost souls who came by fate to the island's shores? Did they create a new band of Others? Was a new smoke monster unleashed? Did they bring their replacements to the island? We don't know what happened. Only that apparently their governance of the island was successful, and the gooey white light of the cycle of life is still intact.

We also don't know what lives Kate, Sawyer, Miles, Richard, Lapidus, Claire and Desmond lived when they returned from Lost island. Bothersome, but it's fun to speculate. How would the real world cope with the very odd appearance of a mostly-empty presumed crashed airplane, filled with only two passengers of the original flight (Kate and Lapidus), one person presumably lost in a freighter disappearance (Miles), two people presumably lost on a crashed Oceanic 815 flight (Claire and Sawyer), a guy who was last seen in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot wound (Desmond) and a guy who works with a mysterious organization called Mittelos Bioscience and just so happens to be hundreds of years old? The press would not be so quick to dub these the "Ajira Six" and accept whatever incredible story they made up. Did Kate and Sawyer shack up? Doubtful considering the afterlife scenes we saw. But maybe Sawyer became a good father to Clementine. Maybe Kate helped Claire raise Aaron... and adopted Jin and Sun's baby Ji-Yeon. Maybe Desmond, Penelope and little Charlie inherited the deceased Widmore's millions and bought a sports team (they do like running in stadiums). Heck, maybe Richard went back to work at Mittelos and came up with a hip new line of eyeliner for their cosmetics department. That's all stuff for the sequel.

No, it doesn't answer everything. Why didn't Mom just let the MIB leave after Jacob was chosen to succeed her? What was Widmore trying to do, really? What's the deal with Walt? And plenty is up for interpretation. I'm still not really getting why the island is underneath the ocean in the afterlife. Maybe its because that's the afterlife of the island, when it does someday finally expire (hopefully no day soon).

But this episode did answer the big thing. What was it all about? The Losties came to the island to save the source of heaven and earth from destruction, and their mission was accomplished. In the process, their lives were transformed. They found fulfillment, love, and forgiveness. And that's what they needed from that very first season. The loop has been completed.

And most importantly...


SHE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

One last thing. Jimmy Kimmel sucks. He teased us with three "alternate endings" and I stayed up to watch them, only to find that they were three limp, unoriginal parodies that were already done better earlier this week by funnier comic troupes and you-tubers. Last time I'm ever watching Kimmel.

But after 6 seasons... I'm (sorta) satisfied with the way the series played out. I would have done a lot differently, but I'm not angry at The End. How 'bout you?

--------------------------
More theories from around the web:

Blogger Robz888 has a Narnia/Oz theory.

EW's Doc Jensen pretty much agrees with me.

Emily from NYMag resides in haterville.

The boys at Slate do not approve either.

Alan Sepinwall is a fan, and sort of figured out the sideways universe before anyone.

Thoughts On Last Night's Lost

Note: only for those who follow the best show in history, Lost.


-So Smokey was ghost Christian Shepherd on the island. Fake Locke/MIB helpfully reminds Jack that, posing as Christian, he led Jack to water back in Season 1. However, he kind of neglects to mention that time when, you know, he tried to lead Jack off a cliff to his death:


Locke, Real Locke, Saved Jack From Falling.

This is in keeping with what the MIB usually does. He saves your life and all, but not before endangering it in the first place. He's all like, "Remember that time I saved your life?" while at the same time he's all, "Hey, lets go look at this really cool well I found."

Clearly, the MIB/Smokey/Fake Locke only saves people when he needs them to do something for him. The question is... why does he save Jack from Widmore's missiles? Wouldn't he rather have Jack dead? Or is the MIB not being completely honest about everybody needing to leave the island? Maybe... he needs a replacement just like Jacob does.

One thing though. We saw ghost Christian off the island in Jack's flash forward. So... was that Smokey? How'd he get off the island? Or are there multiple entities capable of appearing as anyone?

-If Widmore can't kill Fake Locke, he's content with killing everybody else. My hunch is that Widmore knows Fake Locke can't be killed with conventional weapons. The missiles aimed at Fake Locke aren't designed to kill him. They're designed to kill his followers, who are necessary for him to leave the island. This could be why Widmore is so quick to order the executions of the Losties. If he can't kill the MIB, he can at least destroy his means of escape.

Of course, if Widmore was really concerned about only keeping Smokey on the island, he wouldn't have brought a submarine that could potentially be used as Smokey's escape, and he would have destroyed the Ajira jet episodes ago. Clearly, he has an interest in the island that is being thwarted by Smokey's presence. What could that interest be?

Remember, the first time we heard of the smoke monster, he was referred to as "the security system" for the island (by Rousseau and others). Perhaps Smokey is security of sorts, a being that will prevent Widmore from exploiting the island for its special properties.

-Desmond knows everything. This was clear in his ultra-creepy stalking of Claire. He brought her exactly where she needed to be in the sideways world, the law offices of Ilana Radzinsky, otherwise known as "Blown To Pieces By Dynamite Last Episode". There she met Jack, her half brother. It got me thinking about the connections in Lost that we all found so important in the first few seasons. We now know for sure that it wasn't a coincidence that Sawyer met Jack's father, or that Jack's father met Ana Lucia, or that Sayid was on the TV when Kate visited her father, etc, etc. This was the island's doing. Perhaps the "reality" we saw for the first few seasons of Lost was really the sideways world, a world messed up by Widmore, by the Dharma Initiative, by whoever else. Maybe Jacob's touches, or pushes, were attempts early on to correct the timeline. Maybe Desmond, who seems to have taken over Jacob's role, is trying to do the same.

And who thinks Sayid didn't kill Desmond? Hopefully everybody. You should know Lost by now. No dead body = not dead.

That's all I got, for now. I thought it was a pretty awesome episode. Really fast paced, a lot happened, and I didn't feel cheated when the episode was over.

I am however, irate that next week is a repeat. I need more, NOW.

Everybody Loves Hurley, But What About Dr. Pierre Chang?



This is a Lost-related post. So if you're not a fan or don't want your mind blown, don't read on...

Originally, I was going to gripe about last night's episode. But as I got writing, my mind ultimately wrapped around a few things, and I started to see a clear vision for where things are heading... at least in the sideways world.

Last night's episode, Everyone Loves Hurley, was a bit all over the place. As Doc Jensen from EW Online said in his recap, "Chaos Reigns." Which is all well and good, but several things in this episode confused me beyond the confusion that a typical Lost episode creates.

In the first scene, we see a montage of Hurley alternate-universe life. He's become a fried-chicken magnate, and quite the philanthropist, donating money to a science museum... where Dr. Chang works. Dr. Chang himself is giving the speech accompanying the montage, and he awards Hurley the man of the year award.

Now hold up.

Dr. Chang, if you remember, met Hurley. On the Island. In 1977. This is not an event he'd be likely to forget, especially since back then, Hurley claimed to be from the future, and you know, he and his buddies set off a nuclear bomb and necessitated the evacuation of Dharma from Lost island. Hurley is not exactly a face one would forget. Oh, and Hurley introduced Dr. Chang to his son from the future.

We know that after the blast, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Juliet, Hurley, Miles etc. all zapped to the island roughly 3 years from the time they left/turned the underground ice wheel. But for Dr. Chang, Richard Alpert, Eloise Hawking, etc, what happened to them after the blast? Ben, we know, left the island with his dad and became a school teacher. And Chang, we know, has become a director at the science museum.

I'll skip the question about how Chang et. all managed to avoid being vaporized by a nuke. Lets just assume the blast was far underground and absorbed by the magic pocket of energy. Fine. I'll accept that. But Dr. Chang was with Miles at the time of the blast. Did Miles just vanish before his eyes? And, since he survived, has he been watching young Miles grow up, wondering how in the hell his son, now a cop, managed to go back in time and visit him? Does he wonder, hey, this Hurley guy... isn't he exactly the person who I saw back in 1977? My brain explodes thinking about this stuff. How the hell can we have a scene between Dr. Chang and Hurley and not have any recognition from Dr. Chang that something seriously weird is going on here?

Richard Alpert, meanwhile, told us earlier that he "watched everyone die," so maybe that was his experience after the blast (if he saw a mushroom cloud, then he was pretty safe in assuming the 815ers had all perished.) But what's maddening is that he's neither addressed this and no one's asked him. The last time Jack saw Richard, they were in 1977. Now, Jack sees Richard a day later for him but many years later in the timeline, and Jack doesn't even ask, "So... after that bomb... you notice anything? Surprised to see us?"

What did Chang experience? One second he's pulled by his son away from the nuclear blast... and then... what? He's sitting alone, wondering why his son vanished? And then he heads to the mainland and reunites with his wife and son, presumably? And watches his son turn into the man that visited him from the future? Who turns into a cop, just like he was in the Dharma initiative? And partners with Sawyer, who Chang also knew back in Dharma?

Now, hold up.

Maybe Dr. Chang is aware that the future was changed. After all, Miles IS a cop, a profession his father certainly would have known his aptitude for. And being Miles's father, he undoubtedly knows Sawyer, and recognizes him as his son's former partner. I wonder if more than fate played a hand in that.

And remember, in the last episode, Faraday was playing a concert to BENEFIT THE MUSEUM WHERE CHANG WORKS. A benefit concert STAGED BY ELOISE. An Eloise that knows that in another timeline, she sent her own son back in time to be murdered. An Eloise married to a Widmore that was never tricked by Ben to leave his precious island, and who seems utterly at peace with the isle sitting on the bottom of the ocean.

Remember, Chang, Widmore, and Eloise didn't suddenly zap into their future lives. If Faraday's theory about the bomb creating this new timeline is correct, then Chang, Widmore and Eloise lived the aftermath of the incident, and at least Chang and Eloise are fully aware that the history that followed from that moment was altered. Island Widmore, who was never directly told in Season 5 finale what was going on, may not know, but Eloise and Chang, who both had interactions with their future children, certainly know that the timeline they find themselves in is different from the one in which their children first visited them from.

And they're apparently in some sort of cahoots, given the museum benefit concert.

There's no doubt that for Chang and Eloise, their lives are a whole lot better than they were in the other timeline. Chang, we assume, got gassed in the purge. Eloise never married Widmore, her lover on the island, and killed her own son. So for them, they'd have great interest in maintaining this new alt-timeline.

Is Eloise afraid Desmond will ruin it all?

From the very beginning of Lost, we've been given characters wrought with flaws, flaws that led them to make bad decisions that ruined their lives. Instead of blaming themselves, they blamed fate. Eko famously said, "I did not ask for the life that I was given. But it was given, nonetheless. And with it... I did my best." Then Smokey smashed him to death.

In Season Five, they were given a chance to change fate, to change "the life that I was given." We now know they've changed their fates... but how have they changed themselves? Maybe that's what Desmond's mission is really about... to bring the lessons learned on the island to the people in the Alternate timeline.

I think. Maybe.

A few gripes:

Gripe #1: I don't see what any of this timeline hijinx has to do with letting Smokey off the island.

Gripe #2: Ilana. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's dead. She was a waste of screen time that took away from the characters we actually care about. But that's exactly why her death pisses me off too. Why the hell was she ever on the show? What was her point? Couldn't Richard just know about the candidates and tell the survivors? Or Jacob could speak to Hurley and let him know to pass on the message? Why insert a character so late in the game who doesn't have anything to do with the first 5 seasons, who takes up so much screen time and doesn't offer up anything that couldn't be offered in one line from any number of other characters? Why show her in the hospital with bandages if we'll never know how she got them?

That scares me. Because if the writers are creating characters and plot lines that go nowhere this late in the game, then what are they planning to do with the characters and plot lines we care so much about? Will they blow those up as well?

Maybe that's what they've done already, with that nuke in the season 5 finale.

Gripe #3: The books. In the first 5 seasons of lost, they were a nice easter egg, popping up now and again, seeming to offer clues as to where the story of Lost was headed. But now the damn books have more screen time than the characters do. Every damn episode a different book appears, always with some thematic resonance with Lost. Does this have a point? Are viewers really expected to read or look up every book for some clues to Lost? Will understanding the final episode rest on one's familiarity with Dostoevsky? That would really suck.

Anyways, can't wait for next week, which will unfortunately be the last episode before a week-long hiatus :-(

Lost Idea

Haven't seen this weeks episode yet, but what if glasses tiny fey looking girl is Annie. You know, ben's chick. When he was young. She gave him a doll she made. I think it's possible.

Happy Lost-over!

The inspiration for this post came from Conan O'Brien. "If you have Passover on an overpass, you go back in time!"

Funny, but it got me thinking about this season of Lost, which follows a season in which multiple "plagues" and "sacrifices" led the Losties on an adventure through time and space. This season picked up where the previous left off, but presented us a mystifying paralell universe, which even the most crazy Lost theorists have yet to confidently attempt to figure out.

I think... No... Know I've figured it out.

Throughout this season, we've seen what Smokey/MIB/Fake Locke does when he wants someone to do something. Besides turning into smoke and killing them if they refuse. Like the banker in Deal or No Deal, he makes people an offer they'd be foolish to refuse. These offers have something in common: if accepted, that character's redemption, that character's path to making things right is cut short. They get what they want the cheap and easy way, a deal with the "devil," and they no longer have a need to reform the flaws and problems in themselves that caused their problems and presumably made Jacob bring them to the island in the first place.

The offers also have another thing in common. They go against the natural order of things. Cheating death. Cheating time.

Which leads me to this question. If Jack came face to face with Smokey, what would he wish?

We can assume Kate would wish to get off Scot free for her crimes, and go free. We can assume Hurley would wish... To be lucky after all the bad luck he had before (or maybe weight loss). Jack's wish doesn't immediately jump out, except for anyone paying attention last season.

Jack wants a do-over.

What if that's what we're seeing! A do-over! Jack and co weren't sent back to the plane in flight, but to the very beginning, "ab aterno.". They were sent back with a chance to live their whole lives over, and many made the same mistakes, some worse. Sawyer chose cop instead of criminal, but he still never sought counseling after his parents murder. Kate still tried to kill her father, but this time, accidentally killed someone else. Locke possibly never confronted his dad about the sham marriage con that led to him getting pushed out of a window and paralyzed. Everyone went back to the beginning, but, as the man in black theorized, they were all still prone to sin. They made different decisions here and then, but they didn't change themselves.

The sideways world has NOTHING to do with the bomb in the Swan shaft in 1977. That event happened exactly as it always did... Dharma called it "The Incident." And it led to all we saw the past five seasons.

I fear we're watching the results of Jack taking Smokey up on his offer. To give everyone a do-over. And if that's true, then in the "sideways world" the cork holding the evil back is most definitely broken (or, you know, sunk to the ocean floor). But not by the nuke. By Smokey upon his glorious exit.

The question left is: Without the island to spur these characters to their redemption, can any of them be saved? Can they change their lives without Jacob's help? Can they get to the promised land without ten plagues, the parting of the red sea, and other miracles leading the way?

I think we may find out.

Happy Pesach Everyone!

Why Are The Others Such Assholes?



They've kidnapped kids. They beat up people for no reason. They put people in bear cages. They lie, all of the time. They seem to have at least 3 different leaders at any given time, and each of those leaders seems to adhere to a non-disclosure policy that would rival the NSA's. Yet they call themselves, "the good guys." I'm talking of course, about the "Others" on ABC's Lost.

I've had a lot of Lost posts recently, so if you're not a fan, feel free to check back some other time. But I think you'll be interested in this post too. I know that people who don't watch the show have a complaint that seems to become more and more valid every time the "Others" appear in an episode. What's with all the secrets? If the Losties really are integral to the Others' or Jacob's plan, why not clue them in?

This came up directly in last night's episode, "What Kate Does," when Jack demands to know why he has to give Sayid a pill that he can't be told anything about.

Well, for the sake of argument, lets say the Others really are the good guys. Their fighting on Team Jacob, trying to protect the world from Smokey. Suddenly, the 815ers show up. Some are on Jacob's list of potential recruits. Some, however are not.

We've established that Smokey/Man In Black/Fake Locke is one devious son of a gun. He's managed to fool Locke into trying to kill himself, he's managed to fool people into thinking he's Locke, or Christian, or whoever else he wants to be. Also, through a "sickness," he's presumably turned some people genuinely nuts.

Now, lets say you're an Other. You've been on the island a long time. You've met your fair share of Island arrivals. And you've seen people on Jacob's list end up going bad due to Smokey's manipulations.

So what do you do to new arrivals? Well, if you're truly protecting the fate of the world, you'll understandably be protective of Jacob's secret game plan. Even when speaking to those who have been designated to carry it out. I'd say it's likely that none of the Others, even Richard, knows all of the island's secrets... the better to protect it. After all, we just saw Ben, one of the Others' leaders, KILL JACOB. Which would seem to be number one on a list of things the Others would not want to happen.

Given this context, the Others' secrecy makes sense. They can't even reveal the full plan for Smokey defeat to each other... how can they reveal it to strangers who the barely know? Especially when those strangers are as easily swayed and manipulated as we've seen the Losties be these past five seasons.

Imagine if Locke, who actually briefly became the "leader" of the Others, had been told the details of Jacob's plan. Smokey would know it all now.

In fact, that, I'd argue, is the exact reason why Locke, and no other Lostie, was the body Smokey chose to take over. Remember... it's Smokey, in Locke form, that tells Richard to give Locke the compass... the compass that in the past, convinces Richard that Locke is special. In essence, Smokey is making sure that Locke is installed as a leader in the Others camp, which is his way of sneaking into the Others leadership structure and undermining their efforts to contain him. Maybe Smokey couldn't get close to Richard Alpert before (he seems to not have spoken to him since Richard was still a guy "in chains") but now, as he marches towards the Temple to wipe out the Others, he's carrying Richard as a hostage on his back.

The Others being assholes really makes a lot of sense. Why not just tell Jack that Sayid will soon be demented and that poison is necessary to kill him? Well, maybe because Jack's own father seems to have been possessed by Smokey or the sickness. How can they be sure the son is any more reliable?

So yes, the fact that the Others make answers really hard to come by is frustrating. But I'd argue that instead of being merely a writer's ploy to infuriate fans and distance casual watchers, it's actually a major part of the plot and a key to understanding the fragile psyche of the Others: protectors of the island, and possibly--quite probably--the world.

Top Five Lost Plot Threads On Lost

Season 6 started off with a bang, or rather, turbulence, and I can't wait to see what happens. But when I noticed Shannon not of the plane, it got me thinking. No, not about what actress Maggie Grace is doing that's so much better than Lost (cause there really is nothing), but about plot lines that haven't been brought up in a real long while, that better play a part in the series end game or I'll start to question whether the writers ever had any game plan. Here's 5 things that I hope the writers haven't forgotten about.

1) Quarantine/Vaccine/The Sickness



In Season Two, we were introduced to mysterious vials of medicine, which Desmond injected himself with every day and which was administered to Claire and her baby, Aaron. We also learned from the French lady that her team became "sick," and we saw them shoot each other. Later, we saw the Dharma recruits getting "inoculated" when they arrived on the island.

This does not seem like a MacGuffin. Instead, I'd argue, it foreshadows a disaster that will have a huge hand to play in the endgame of Lost. Let's say that humanity is headed for disaster. This was my theory way way back in Season 3. The Dharma Initiative knows the end of the world is coming, so do the Others, and so do Jacob and the Man In Black/Smokey. The difference is, while Jacob, Dharma and the Others want to stop the end of the world, it's clear that MIB/Smokey could care less about humanity:

"They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same." - MIB, Season 5 finale.

"When John first came to the island he was a very sad man, a victim, shouting at the world for being told what he couldn't do even though they were right. He was weak and pathetic and irreparably broken. But despite all that, there was something admirable about him. He was the only one of them who didn’t want to leave. The only one who realized how pitiful the life he left behind actually was." -FakeLocke/MIB/Smokey Season 6 premiere.

To me, it seems clear Smokey is ready to be done with this whole humanity business. To him, the end of the world is long past due. An end of the world I believe will have something to do with a disease. An evil disease that drives people crazy and destroys everything. In the original timeline, Aaron the baby carried the cure, the chance at mankind's salvation. Perhaps he still does in the new altered timeline. But if Claire gives him up to the wrong people, well, so much for humanity.

Does this make sense? Probably not. But all these references to disease have to add up to something. And since we haven't seen anyone on the island fall victim to it, I'm left to assume that the disease can only be virulent outside the island, in the real world.

Of course, I could be totally wrong about this.

2) The Button



Some people believe this question's been answered already. But if the Swan really did just exist to release a pocket of energy, then why couldn't it be automated? There's only one explanation. It was too important to be automated. The release of energy really would end the world. But then why not simply turn the failsafe like, years ago? After all, since Desmond turned that key, the island hasn't exactly exploded.

But what if the button was forestalling the inevitable? What if the failsafe didn't end the danger, but was merely one last attempt to stall the end from coming? Perhaps all the failsafe did was buy more time. More time for... Aaron the wonder baby to redeem humanity?

I've really lost my mind on this one. But Lost has to answer the question: Why did a human being have to press the button? Why couldn't the failsafe have been activated years ago?"

3. Polar Bear?



Dear Lost writers. Don't think you can get away with "Oh, the Dharma people just brought polar bears to the island for research." That doesn't fly. Cause, well, other animals are obviously better suited for scientific research. We've seen them on the show: lab rats, bunnies. Polar bears? No scientist I know of would think bringing Polar Bears to a tropical island would provide sound research. And that polar bear in the Tunisian desert wearing the Dharma insignia collar? Are we really supposed to assume that Dharma hooked a polar bear to the frozen back-in-time wheel, just for kicks? No other animal made sense? They were just like, polar bears are best suited for time travel? That just does not make sense.

Explain the damn polar bears. And your explanation better not be, too much weed before the Lost writing session.

4) WAAAAAAALLLLLT!!



We were told time and time again that the kid was special. But... how? And why? We've seen Walt appear in odd places, we know he has dreams about the future. But we don't know why, and we certainly don't know what his purpose is. There were multiple episodes where Michael, Walt's dad, just screamed "WAAALLLT" at the top of his lungs. Almost an entire season centered around his rescue from the Others. Why'd we go through all that if he has absolutely nothing to do with how this all plays out???

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say Walt is important the same way Aaron is. These kids may be the key to the future if Smokey/The disease gets off the island or if humanity is in peril. But there's also the very real danger that the writers have forgotten about him: DESPITE HIM BEING IN EVERY SEASON FINALE EXCEPT SEASON 5.

5. Henry Friggin' Gale



When the Losties first encountered that weasel Ben Linus, he pretended to be a man named Henry Gale, who arrived by hot air balloon. If we never learn the true story behind Henry Gale, I think I can live with it. But it does seem cheap that they would introduced a hot air balloon and never even reference it again.

Unless...

The Losties finally find their way off the island... again. They pack into Henry Gale's balloon, patched up and still functional after all these years. The balloon begins to take off. But then Vincent the dog emerges from the woods. "Vincent!" Kate yells. She jumps down from the balloon to grab the dog, followed by Jack, but it's too late to stop the balloon from ascending. Kate and Jack watch in horror as the balloon drifts away.

"Now we'll never get home," Kate says.

"Nonsense," Christian Shepherd replies, emerging from the woods.

"Dad!?" Jack says, perplexed.

"You've had the power to go home all along," Christian says. "Just click your heels together and say, 'There's no place like home.'"

"Wait, this is a total rip-off of something," Jack replies.

"Just go with it," Christian says.

Jack and Kate wake up in bed together. "I've just had the strangest dream," they say, at exactly the same time. They laugh and kiss passionately.



Then, the camera pans over to the doorway, where a polar bear stands, wearing a Dharma collar, smiling menacingly before dissolving into black smoke.

Cut to Black. Lost!

Sorry, should have put a spoiler warning before all that.

Anyways, those are the mysteries I hope the writers haven't totally forgotten about. Let's see what they do with them.

[UPDATE] Oh, also, Geronimo Jackson.

A Developing Theory Of Lost


Where The F@#$ Was Shannon???

I've had previous theories of Lost, and I still think at least parts continue to hold up after tonight's crazy "sideback" (as opposed to "flashback" or "flash-forward") episode of Lost.

A few quick thoughts, cause my brain is still frantically trying to find room for all this insanity:

Clearly there are two dogs in this fight, Jacob, who's dead now, and Smokey The Smoke Monster, which can appear as a smoke monster, a guy in a black shirt, John Locke, and anything else it wants to.

Smokey, in John Locke form, states his objective in this episode: To get off the island.

So Jacob has been confining Smokey to the island. Now, with him out of the way, Smokey is presumably free to travel.

The Others are Jacob's army, but at the moment, Smokey doesn't seem too afraid. Maybe because, oh, I don't know, he can turn into a column of smoke that kills everyone.

Which raises the question. What happens if Smokey gets off the island? While a smoke monster might provide an interesting new cast member on Jersey Shore, most likely, Smokey would love nothing more than to wipe out us "pathetic" humans. We're talking the end of the world. We're talking like Eloise Hawking did in that episode "Flashes Before Your Eyes."

From Wikipedia:

When Eloise [posing as a jewlery store clerk] showed him a ring and Desmond told her he would take it, she seemed upset and responded by telling him he would not. After Desmond refused to give the ring back she explained to Desmond that she knows his name, he will break Penny's heart, he will not marry Penny, instead entering the sailing race to prove Penny's father wrong, and he will go to the Island and press the button for three years until forced to turn the failsafe key. She said that if he "doesn't do those things," that "every single one of us is dead

."
Tonight, we saw Desmond on Oceanic Flight 815. Which means that he was never on Lost island. Which means that he never pushed the button. Which means very very bad things are coming for the world... his alternate timeline where Flight 815 lands in LAX.

A timeline, in which, I'm pretty sure, Smokey will escape.

Maybe. Hmm.

What was with the island being underwater?

Anyways, things have clearly changed, in a big way. Light has literally turned to dark. And unless the Losties figure out how to put Smokey back in his ring of ash, both lives-- the ones that landed in LAX, and the ones that flashed to the island, are all going to die.

Anyways, I gotta sleep on this. Wild start to the end.

P.S. As I predicted, Cindy came back-- along with Zach and Emma... who just seem creeeeeepy. So did Captain Norris, even if it was just his voice. 3 Down, 8 to go.

Top Ten "Lost" Characters From Lost

The best show in the history of television, Lost, returns Tuesday night, with a new episode at 9:00 Eastern time. However, even the best of shows can seem to forget about some characters which once seemed as if they could be important. Lost, with its ensemble cast and multiple flashbacks, is full of people that made a quick impression upon Lost fans, but seemingly have fallen by the wayside as the series regulars have shuffled through time and space. Here are my ten lost Lost characters I've been wondering about, and my guess as to the chance we'll ever see them again:

10. Achara



Who dat? Played by model/actress Bai Ling, Achara had sex with Jack a lot when he was abroad in Thailand and branded him with a tattoo. A tattoo which got Jack beat up and inspired that weird Others-sheriff-lady-that-looks-sort-of-like-Ms.-Hawking to comment, "He walks among us, but is not one of us."

Why Should I Care? What's the point of the whole Jack tattoo episode? Does his tattoo and his experience in Thailand have anything to do with the larger mythology of Lost, or even Jack's redemptive arc? I want to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Close to Ziltch. Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have been quoted as saying the Jack's tattoo episode is their least favorite, and was made simply to force the ABC execs to greenlight an end date for the series. Still, I'm holding out hope the writers figure out some way to creatively reconcile this loose thread.

9. Captain Seth Norris



Who Dat? The guy who piloted the Losties on their ill fated first flight to the island of odd happenings. Unceremoniously torn apart by Smokey, the lovable death monster.

Why Should I Care? Greg Grunberg, the actor, deserves better than his role on Heroes, which has basically been reduced to squinting really hard and the camera shaking a lot. In a deleted scene of Lost, Captain Seth Norris calms a nervous Claire, sharing some personal history and appearing like a nice guy. What did Smokey have on him that made him death-worthy?

Chances We'll See Him Again: Good. If the survivors succeeded in rewriting history, then the plane doesn't crash, and Captain Norris is no longer smokey food. Only thing holding him back is his er... work with Heroes.

8. Kevin Callis



Who Dat? Kate's husband, of less than six months, a cop who thinks her name is Monica and is drugged by Kate when she decides to run away.

Why Should I Care? Kevin is played by Nathan Fillion, the totally awesome Captain Mal in Firefly and Serenity, and Captain Hammer in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He also seems to genuinely care for Kate. He was her best chance for happiness with a guy before the messy love quadrangle of Sawyer, Jack and Juliet. His exit feels a bit unresolved. Wouldn't you seek out your (ex)wife if she did this to you?

Chances We'll See Him Again: Slim, however, Fillion is a favorite of series creator J.J. Abrams, so maybe.

7. Starla



Who Dat? Hurley's love interest. Poor Hugo tells us that she ran off with his best friend, one of many events he attributes to the evil numbers.

Why Should I Care? Cause the big man deserves some love. It seems cold that Hurley's best friend and his crush should run away together, just because of some cursed island numbers. Hurley deserves happiness, and this hottie gave it to him, however briefly.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Low. According to a lot of different sources, Libby will be back this season, which could provide love for Hurley. No room for Starla?

6. Helen



Who Dat? The love of Locke's life. Probably his one greatest regret was betraying her trust and losing her.

Why Should I Care? Because its just so damn sad. We saw Helen again... a tombstone. Locke never got a second chance with her. Never even got a chance to apologize. Locke's relationship with Helen was really the one happy thing in a miserable existence off the island. In a show that's shown time and time again how people can find redemption for past mistakes, Locke seems to have no way to overcome this loss.

Chances Of Seeing Her Again: Medium. If all went to plan, and the plane never crashed, then Locke still has time to be with Helen before she dies (of a brain aneurysm). The question is, will the writers give Locke some semblance of happiness? Or will the evil possessed Locke be the focus of the show's final season?

5. Cindy Chandler



Who Dat? Cindy's the flight attendant who hooks Jack up with extra vodka. She also survives the tail splashdown with Ana Lucia and Co. She also disappears in the woods and reappears with the Others, giddily excited to see Juliet branded with a weird symbol.

Why Should I Care? WTF? Was she one of the others all along? What's the deal with her mystery disappearance? Why's she so chummy with the Others all of the sudden? Does she get offended if you call her a stewardess? I want to know, I need to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: 100% Call it a hunch [SPOILERS].

4. Zach & Emma


Who Dat? The adorable little tykes who survived the tail section crash, later seen enjoying life with the Others, even though it really doesn't seem like much fun. I mean, I didn't see a Wii, did you?

Why Should I Care? Because they're the only kids who survived the plane crash, and they were on "Jacob's List." Because weren't they traveling home to their mother, who is presumably distraught over them? Because it's way creepy to think of the Others' obsession with children. What's the story?

Chances We'll See Them Again: I'd say good. You can't just completely ignore the fact that children survived the crash, were taken away, and then were never heard from again. Presumably, they're in the temple with the Others, and have either gone through Walt-like growth spurts since we last saw them or have changed their appearance due to different child actors portraying them.

3. Beatrice Klugh




Who dat? Creepy lady who held Walt captive and spoke Russian with Mikhail, the one-eyed guy, right before she asked him to shoot her.

Why Should I Care? Hello? Her name is Klugh. Like, as in, CLUE. She's got to mean something. We were led to believe she was a leader of some sort in the Others. Why'd she choose to sacrifice herself? Did she? Is she actually still alive, like Mikhail appeared to be, time and time again? What did she mean when she told Michael that Walt was special?

Chances We'll See Her Again: Medium. I can't believe they would introduce a character like this only to kill her off with no explanation. That sounds more like another show, ahem Heroes.

2. Libby



Who dat? Talk about a pivotal character. She not only gives Desmond the boat which he uses to sail to the island, she becomes Hurley's love interest and driving force behind his heroism.

Why Should I Care? Because it turned out she was in the damn MENTAL INSTITUTION! WITH HURLEY!!!! LOOKIN ALL CRAAAAZY! And for the love of all things holy, you can't just leave that unexplained.

Chances We'll See Her Again: 100%. The media has reported it, and frankly, anything less than 100% odds that Libby would be coming back would deeply disturb me. You just gotta explain that mental institution shocker.

1. Annie



Who dat? The little island girl who gives Ben the first birthday present he's ever received without the words "that's for killing your mother" attached to it. Ben keeps the doll to this day, a reminder that he was a child once, in love with a girl.

Why Should I Care? WHAT HAPPENS TO ANNIE!?! We never see it in flashbacks. Does she die in the purge? Does she join the Others? Is she... Kate? (Not sure how that's possible, but it's a theory people have). The people demand to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Medium. I want to say 100%. Cause its a loose thread that dangles a bit too loose. What's the point in featuring her in an episode if we never find out what happens? Ben lingered on that doll a bit too long for us to ignore it. But... well... we saw young Ben last season, and at no time was he in the company of Annie. So whats the deal? Did the writers just forget? That's not really allowed.

I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm spinning the donkey wheel to see if I can end up on Feb. 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 PM. Wish me luck.

Conflict Of Interest

Never before have two of my interests collided so tragically. The final season of Lost, the greatest show ever made, will be preempted for two weeks because of the Winter Olympics, a sporting extravaganza I once attended in Lillehammer, Norway and love to watch as well (I once pretended to be a speed skater to pick up a chick... it failed miserably).

Can't the creators of Lost find some solution other than stopping the season for two weeks? Like maybe they can do some crossover episode in which Hurley attempts the luge in order to escape the Others, and John Locke shows off his deadly accuracy while biathlon-ing through an ice age version of the mysterious island?

Hey, there was a polar bear on Lost once. And Ben Linus does look bad-ass in a parka.


If Ben could push this...


... then couldn't he push this?

I'm just sayin, lets be creative here. Maybe change the time slot for those two weeks of Lost to coincide with a Winter Olympics event no one really wants to watch, like Curling. It's shuffleboard on ice, people! You don't watch shuffleboard, do you?

Yeah yeah. I know, keep dreamin. Bob Costas better bring his A game.

This Is A Really Freaky Video

What's In The Box?



I found this through EW.com's Jeff Jensen, who theorizes that it (and it's accompanying websites) could possibly be part of some Lost universe created by fans. It definitely has that creepy Lost vibe. Can't you just picture that camera swinging around and revealing Daniel Faraday??

Of course, it could just be a very elaborate Sony Ericcson/Videogame Commercial.

If you're like, shaking now, really freaked out, then just watch Susan Boyle below and get back to a healthy equilibrium.

Susan Boyle Singer Britains Got Talent 2009 With Lyrics @ Yahoo! Video

Lost Is So F-cking Good



SPOILER ALERT: Read no further if you're not up-to-date on Lost, or if you don't watch it.

-------------------------

Last night's episode of Lost was game-changing. It showed us the origins of several characters and established a logical reason behind some of the island's most enduring mysteries. However, if you weren't paying attention, it was easy to miss the magic.

Desmond named his kid Charlie. After Lostie rock star Charlie, who sacrificed his life to get everyone rescued. Aww.

Widmore was an other. I totally didn't see it coming. He snapped his buddy's neck!! Ruthless. Is Ben or Widmore the bad guy? Maybe it's both.

The Swan hatch was built next to a buried nuke. Which explains the concrete and lead shell that mystified Sayid, and may have something to do with "The Incident" that happens later.

Faraday just met his mom. On the island. When his mom was just a young woman. I totally missed this, but Lost and Gone Forever makes a great point. The blonde with the gun is named Ellie. Faraday's test rat was named Eloise... after his mother. Eloise = Ellie? Not a difficult stretch.

The whispers. Those strange whispers in the jungle that seem to pop up whenever danger is near? Well, our castaways are back in time, and judging by the preview for the next episode, they're now back in the time period when they were on the island. Could they be the ones whispering?

Why Locke is special. He's special because he was the one who told Richard Alpert about the time traveling properties of the island. Locke himself was responsible for Alpert visiting him at his birth, and perhaps those other times in his life.

The strange circumstances that got all the Oceanic passengers to the island. The universe course correcting itself-- Jack, Kate, et. al. HAD TO BE on that plane for the timeline to work. They had to go to the island so they could go back and time and be a part of the past that already happened. (Yes, that's confusing).

Why the Oceanic Six have to come back. Because they're an integral part of the timeline to come-- Desmond changed the future when he saved Charlie's life long enough for Charlie to press the yellow button and assure their rescue. In order for the correct future to take place, Jack, Kate et. al. have to return to finish what they started. If not, well... as Desmond's mother Ellie...Eloise said "God help us all."

How's my Adam's Life Patented Lost Theory holding up?

Surprisingly well! A few choice excerpts:

The hostiles on the island, however, were resistant to efforts to change the course of destiny. Think-- creepy dark-eyed Richard preaches "patience." Weird Ben ghost-mother says "it's not time yet." These are the words of people who believe in a set path. They strive to prevent all efforts at alteration.

Now we know that mysterious old lady from Desmond's time traveling day was once an Other, Ellie, on the island. And we know that Ben was an other. And that the two are working together to make sure things "follow the rules" and go according to plan. If it doesn't, "God help us all."

Widmore WAS an Other also, but his bag seems to be changing the future. "He changed the rules," Ben famously said when his daughter Alex got killed.

It stands to reason that Widmore would have a goal in common with the Dharma Initiative then... to "Make Your Own Kind Of Music." Its a safe bet he was the man behind it, after being forced off the island for as yet unknown reasons.

Remember... Creepy Old Lady told Desmond that entering the numbers was the single most important thing he'd ever do. If we're to take that literally... now that he can no longer enter the numbers, you'd think Desmond would feel pretty useless. Except he's not done entering the numbers. He's still entering them... by altering what he sees in his "flashes."

Desmond had the failsafe key = Desmond is the key. To Lost. To everything.

As Faraday says to Desmond, "You're the only one who can save us." I love patting myself on the back for being right.

Desmond has the power to change the future, which would mean that Widmore wouldn't have a problem with him. But Faraday's mother just might. "She may not be happy to see you," Widmore warns Desmond. He may be right about that.

The rest of my crazy theory?It's unclear how right I am at this time. But clearly, we're not talking about Good vs. Evil here. You'd be hard pressed to find any character on the show who hasn't done something really bad. The central battle in Lost is the battle between predestined fate and "make your own kind of music." Clearly, our Losties have been following fate's plan thus far, and it hasn't worked out so well for them. Should they be on Ben's side? Or Widmore's?

Tough to choose. They did both kill many innocent people.

EUREKA!!!

Maybe Ben and Widmore are both evil. Maybe this thing will end with the Losties and the Others combining forces to reach a happy medium-- fate and free will combined somehow.

More Lost Analysis of last night's episode here: Dark UFO

I can't wait. LOST!!!

Lost In Lostland



Last night's episode of Lost, "Confirmed Dead," blew my mind yet again. I may be less convinced I'm ever going to get all the answers I seek, but I've never been more entertained.

Those of you who don't watch Lost, you can probably stop reading here. Unless you want to learn more about the crazy-zany-nut-making-factory that is this TV show.

We were introduced (through flashbacks) to four members of the freighter team that's trying to find the island: Daniel, Miles, Charlotte and Frank. Daniel was devastated to the point of tears when he heard that Flight 815 had been found... at the bottom of the ocean, with the dead bodies inside. Miles was also moved by the news, but shook it off in order to do some "ghostbusting" for an elderly woman. Charlotte used her multilingual prowess to read reports of Flight 815's discovery in every foreign newspaper-- before finding a Dharma polar bear in the Tunisian desert. And Frank, watching the television news report which identified the pilot's dead, underwater body (damn Fox News!), called Oceanic to inform them he thought the whole crash thing was bogus. He also told them that he was supposed to be the pilot of the doomed flight.

How and why did this bunch of misfits come together to find wacky hidden island? It's unclear, of course. But it has something to do with this creepy guy:



Clearer is that Ben doesn't want them on his wacky hidden island. And neither does Locke, because he saw Walt in the jungle and Walt told him to stop Naomi and her people. Interesting how Walt and Ben have the same agenda. Very interesting if you ask me... for reasons which will become abundantly clear...

The very last line of "Confirmed Dead," is a real mindbender:

Ben says, "I have a man on their boat."

Who is this mystery double agent?? The one feeding Ben information about the freighter people?

My guess... wait for it...

WALT!!!

Yes. He may be just a boy in your eyes, but in Ben's eyes, Michael's son is a man (Locke even said that Walt "looked taller"). Remember how much The Others wanted Walt in Seasons One and Two? How Walt was "special"? I always thought it odd that Ben has stopped at nothing to keep everyone on the island, yet let Michael and Walt (who's supposed to be so "special") go so easily.

Unless he didn't let them go. Ben said that Michael and Walt would most likely get picked up by a ship if they followed a certain heading. Ben knew the freighter was out there... and he was sending Walt (who had spent enough time with the Others to be indoctrinated with their plans) to be his spy. Michael was none the wiser.

My prediction? We find out in the upcoming epsiodes that Michael and Walt are on the ship. And that Walt is working more closely with Ben and The Others than anyone suspects.

Of course, I could be completely wrong. Ben's "man on the boat," might be a three-headed dragon named Sylvester, who wears pleather pants and plays a ukelele. Those kinds of twists happen regularly on Lost.


The "Man" On The Boat

I've often wondered how I would do if I was on Lost island. Would I be eaten by a Polar bear? Be smashed to bits by the Monster? Would I c*ckblock Sayid and get with Shannon, saving her from getting shot by Ana Lucia? I hope so.


"Step off, Sayid, she's my island girlfriend!"

Luckily, the folks at BuddyTV came up with a little quiz:

What is Your Fate on Lost?

Created by BuddyTV

So I do survive. But nothing is said about whether or not Shannon and I get off the island together.

I can't wait for more Lost.

More interesting episode analysis here: Confirmed Dead

Dramatic Chipmunk

I suspect only my sister and me will think this is hilarious:



Don't miss the sequel:



Ah, what the hell, one more...



Who said the internet was just full of worthless crap?

Will You Marry Me? Type Your Comment And Press Enter.


Note: This is a random picture. NOT the happy couple

As you may know, I like LOST. The TV show. A lot. The idea of no Lost until January frightens and confuses me. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about LOVE.

One of the blogs I read after every Lost episode is "Lost And Gone Forever." The blogger, Brian, is pretty insightful, many times wrong, but always entertaining. He always gives me a few new Lost theories to think about. Of course, I haven't checked his blog since Lost went on hiatus.

I did today, and I think I just discovered history in the making.

THE FIRST BLOG PROPOSAL

Yes, Brian proposed to his "super-hot girlfriend" on his blog. Complete with a photo of the ring he bought her. They met because of Lost. No, not on the island. They watched it together. A romance blossomed. And she read his blog all the time. A few comments after one anonymous prankster replied "No," Brian's girlfriend finally typed "Yes!" I admit, my eyes got a bit misty.

Congrats to Brian and his fiancee. Just don't go fly to Sydney for the honeymoon!